As it turned out, everything went right for the first time in a long time. Not that they had done much of anything but sat on the couch for the majority of that night, Jared drinking cup after cup of coffee and Jensen cat napping once every couple of hours.
But their relationship, or non-relationship as it were, started to change the next day after Jared accepted that the danger had passed and both of them could sleep. Jensen didn’t want him risking trying to drive back to Steve’s when he was so overtired that he couldn’t make it across the room to the bathroom without bouncing off anything remotely in his path, but he was too tall to fit comfortably on the couch. They had argued about who should get the bed because Jensen was hurt but Jared was a guest until Jensen finally got fed up and pointed out that it was a king sized bed so they would both have enough room.
He ignored the pounding of his heart at the thought of sharing a bed because it might lead to something that would be a pale imitation of what he really wanted. But he contented himself with the thought that even if Jared did want him sexually he wasn’t going to try anything while Jensen had two broken ribs. It would be fine.
Jensen really needed to learn to stop deluding himself like that.
When he had woken up, hours later, it was to find his head pillowed on Jared’s chest and Jared’s arm curled protectively low on his hips. It had felt good, right and he was pretty sure it was going to kill him.
He had tried to pull away only to have Jared’s arm tighten and him asking, in a voice that was completely clear of any traces of sleep, where he thought he was going.
After a long, brutally honest, discussion, after which they both felt like they needed to do something manly, work out with a punching bag maybe, they discovered that they both felt the same way about each other. And after Jared swore that he didn’t think that Jensen was being a bastard for moving past Justin and Jensen promised not to freak out and try to break up with him for his own good, they decided to give their relationship another shot.
It had been difficult in the beginning, even after Jeff Morgan had publicly apologized and offered Jensen his job back because he refused to return to the FBI but Jared wouldn’t give it up. They spent the first six months of their relationship only seeing each other on weekends and racking up outrageous long distance bills.
Eventually it became too much for Jensen but he stuck by the promise he had made and instead of pushing Jared away, he asked him to move to Dallas.
It took two months after that before Jared’s request for a transfer to the Dallas office was granted. Another three weeks after that until they found a house that they both liked that had a yard big enough for a couple of dogs that Jared planned to train as guard dogs.
But, finally, by the second anniversary of Justin’s death, they were settled with their two dogs in their own home and they were happy.
Jared kissed him softly before carefully dislodging himself from Jensen’s body and rolling to lay beside him.
Jensen reached out, grabbed a couple tissues from the nightstand and after cleaning the mess from his stomach, rolled on his side to find Jared staring up at the ceiling. Something was rolling around in that head of his and by the pensive look on his face it couldn’t be anything good.
“Jay?” He leaned up on an elbow so that he could see his eyes. “What is it?”
He met his eyes for a brief moment before looking away. “We should fly down to San Antonio for the weekend.”
Well that wasn’t what he had been expecting. He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting but that wasn’t it. “Why?”
Jared turned his head and held his gaze. “You do know what the date is tomorrow right?”
He frowned, of course he knew, he would never forget that day no matter how many years passed and he appreciated what Jared was offering but he was more concerned about what he wasn’t saying. “Yeah, I know.”
“I just thought you might like to take flowers or have some time alone with him or something.”
Jensen leaned over until he was resting his head on Jared’s chest; he tangled their legs together and placed his hand over his heart. “Jay, I appreciate the thought but I don’t need to do any of that.”
“Jensen you were with Justin for four years. I get that that means something to you.”
“Jared,” he cut him off, “You were there at the end, you have some idea what it was like. Justin and I,” he sighed. “We were over Jay. I’m sorry for what happened to him but I’m not going to let that rule my life. I said my goodbyes to him last year. I’m not going to go back just because I’m alive but he’s not.”
“I’m sorry.” He said softly after a minute of silence.
“What have you got to be sorry for?”
He shrugged, “For bringing Justin up. For not believing you. For not being the back up you needed that night when we finally lucked out and caught Michael Weatherby. For...”
Jensen leaned up and pressed their lips together. “We’ve been all through this. It’s all said and done and it’s time we both let it go.”
“Jared.” He warned low.
Jared smiled sheepishly and shifted both of them until he had Jensen tucked with his back to Jared’s chest. “Alright I’m done.”
Jensen pressed the side of his face into the pillow to hide his resigned grin. He had heard that before and he knew that he would be hearing it again but he really couldn’t be angry about it. It was nice to know that Jared really did believe him.
He kissed the back of his neck, “But I am sorry for not believing you.”
Jensen stared into the dark bedroom, his mind sliding through paths he could usually ignore except for right around this time of the year.
Jensen stared at the computer screen, at the negative, red thirty-five dollars staring back at him from the online banking website.
How in the hell were they thirty-five dollars in the hole and where in the fuck had the money for the mortgage gone?
“Justin!” He walked to the foot of the stairs and stared up towards the second floor landing.
“What?” Justin snarled as he came into view and stared down the stairs. “Are we talking again? I’m sorry you sleeping in the spare room, again, kind of threw me off.”
Jensen narrowed his eyes and curled his fingers around the banister in an effort not to grab him by the arms and shake him. “What did you do with the money for the mortgage?”
“What are you talking about?” He pushed past him and headed into the living room.
He narrowed his eyes before he stared after him. Justin must really think that Jensen was stupid if he didn’t think that Jensen didn’t recognize his avoidance tactic after nothing but months of it. “Don’t play coy with me. Just tell me what happened to the fucking money!”
“Have you seen my wallet? It’s not on my dresser.”
It was probably Jensen’s fault; he had let Justin get away with not answering for anything since he had lost his job. It had started because he had felt bad that the company had downsized and no one seemed to be willing to hire someone at Justin’s pay rate but things had gotten way out of hand.
“The mortgage payment Justin.” He grabbed his arm and spun him to face him. “The house payment bounced. Our house. I know the money was in there because I just got paid, so where is it?”
Justin rolled his eyes, “Obviously there was a fuck up at the bank. I’ll take care of it.”
He hadn’t been planning it but he had been suspecting that Justin had been lying to him about several things for months now but he had finally caught him in a lie and he wasn’t about to let him get away with it. Not anymore.
He grabbed him by the biceps and dragged him close. “Bullshit. I saw the date and the amount of the last withdrawal. You cleaned out the checking account two days ago at a ATM at someplace named Lucky’s.”
His face shifted from outrage to indifference. “So? I needed the money and the bank won’t foreclose for one late payment. I’ll call and make sure that they take the money out of your next pay check.”
“What did you need almost fifteen hundred dollars for?” He demanded.
It felt like getting punched in the stomach, Justin had taken all the money out of their account and he wouldn’t tell him why. He couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t take knowing that he was being lied to. Wondering where Justin was when he didn’t answer his phone and didn’t come home until the wee hours of the morning. Suspecting that he had someone else on the side.
He was done.
“This isn’t worth it anymore.” He muttered and shoved him away.
“What?” Justin stared at him.
“I can’t.” He took a step back and shook his head, “I’m done Justin. We’re through.”
He was starting to look like he was panicking, “Wait.” It was his turn to grab at him, “Jensen, stop.”
“It’s over. I don’t love you anymore.” He shook Justin’s hands off of his arms.
Justin started to move forward, reaching out again. “You don’t mean that.”
Jensen just wanted to get away, now that it had finally occurred to him that, yes, he really didn’t love Justin anymore, he probably hadn’t since his husband’s personality had started to change and it pissed him off that Justin didn’t seem to be willing to accept it. He wanted to think it was because he still loved him but after the whole business with cleaning out their account and then telling him that it wasn’t a big deal because everything could be caught up when he next got paid, he was pretty sure he was more upset about losing his access to easy cash.
He tried to step back, out of his reach but when Justin lunged forward, it was instinct to shove him backward.
It was like watching an old, flickering movie. One minute Justin was grabbing at him the next he was falling back and then with a sickening crunch as his head collided with the solid oak coffee table, he hit the floor and was still.
Jensen stared down at him, his chest heaving with panic as he caught sight of the growing pool of blood around his head. “Jus?”
There was no response and as he stared at him, it didn’t look like he was breathing either.
Oh no. Oh please God no!
He dropped to his knees beside him and with shaking fingers, searched for a pulse.
He back pedaled away from him but couldn’t take his eyes off of Justin, off of his body.
Justin was dead. He had killed Justin.
Jensen scanned the room, his mind jumping in his panic. He was going to go to jail. He was going to lose his job. He had murdered Justin. It was an accident but a jury wouldn’t buy it. What would his mother think? Chad was supposed to be coming to help Justin start packing up the kitchen for when the contractor showed up and he couldn’t be there when he got there.
He shut his eyes and took a deep breath. It had been an accident but he knew no one would believe that, except maybe Jared but he couldn’t risk it. He couldn’t put his fate in the hands of twelve people and hope that they understood.
Slowly he opened his eyes and pushed to his feet. He had to get to work. He had to act like this was just another day. He was an FBI agent; he knew how law enforcement thought. He’d let them know that a contractor was supposed to be coming to look at the kitchen to give them a quote about renovating it. He would let them chase the contractor down for a while; it would give him time to work out his alibi.
He spun on his heel and headed towards the front door, he needed to get to work.
Jensen laced their fingers together and squeezed Jared’s hand in his. “Don’t be. I’m just happy that you finally do.”
End Note: I'm on vacation and chances are I won't be back online until I get home the week of July 13, so it's doubtful that I'll be getting to any comments until then.