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Shadow Lane: A Winchester Obsession
Fic: An Unforgettable Moment (In Time) part 1 
5th-Aug-2009 06:58 am
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Title: An Unforgettable Moment (In Time) part 1

Please see Master Post for fic details.

Banner by [info]nerrianah 

There's a secret buried beneath the dark brown soil. One that cannot be told to just anyone, only a selective few know the truth, witches of the Gaia tradition and their Guardians. This secret has been kept for years, both to protect it and mankind from those that seek to control it, to control all.

Through the years the people caught in the secret were put through hell and torture just to remain loyal. The secret, the world, it mattered that much.


“I won’t be gone long.” Jared murmured low as he tugged Jensen closer by the belt loops of his jeans. “Just down to the cave and back today I think.”

Jensen rolled his eyes but couldn’t stop the fond smile. “Jay, I’ll be fine.” He let his left hand rest on Jared’s hip, his right holding his empty coffee mug out and way from their bodies. “Europe is a long way off.”

“Only a fourteen hours intercontinental flight depending on where you fly out from.” He pointed out with a frown and kissed the top of his head. “Dungarvan fell a week ago.”

Jensen glanced down at Harley and Sadie mulling around their legs, he couldn’t deny it and the Dublin international airport wasn’t more than a handful of hours away from Dungarvan. On top of that was the fact that Bree was one of only two others that knew that the Gaia pool under his protection was the strongest, the control pool but still Europe was Europe.  

He pulled back to meet his eyes and managed to smile reassuringly up at him, ignoring, once again, the twinge in his stomach about not telling Jared that small fact. Gaia had her reasons for choosing a seer as strong as Bree as one of the thirteen and not giving her his Gaia pool to protect and Jensen wasn’t one to question the actions of deities. “And Ispwich two weeks before that, whoever is hunting the Gaia pools isn’t in North America.”

“You don’t know that.”

He sighed, “You’re right I don’t but I can’t live like every shadow is concealing someone hunting me. I won’t.”

“You don’t have to.” He pulled him tightly against his chest, “That’s my job.”

“Jay, take the dogs and go for your run.” He kissed the underside of his chin to gentle his words. “Nothing’s going to happen in the couple hours you’re gone.”


He snaked his free hand between them, rested his palm against Jared’s warm chest for a moment before pushing him back towards the backdoor. “Go.”

The dogs, impatient, took the hint and moved quickly to stand in front of the door, tails wagging and heads swinging back and forth from the barrier keeping them from outside and their master.

“I’m only going out to the cave.” He reiterated as he slowly stepped back.

Jensen shook his head in fond exasperation, “Go.”

Without breaking eye contact, Jared reached behind him and unlatched the door, “Just to the cave. One hour there and back.”

Jensen couldn’t stop the grin, even as his pride bristled at the thought that Jared wouldn’t trust him to protect himself for even a couple hours, as he watched the dogs break for freedom “Fine.”

He nodded and backed out of the house. “One hour.”


Jared blew a kiss at him and winked. “Love you.”

“I love you too.” He pointed towards where the dogs had disappeared into the trees at the back of the house. “Now quit stalling and go.”

He tipped his head before he turned and jogged off after the dogs.

Jensen watched him disappear between the trees, the path hidden from his view, as he worried his lower lip. 

Two pools out of thirteen worldwide were gone, not just temporarily absent until a new witch and guardian settled in but actually fallen. It was the scariest fucking thing that had ever happened to him, worse than the day he had felt the first pull towards an unknown destination and had followed it. At least then he had had an idea as to what was happening to him, being trained from an early age he had known what the calling was but this was nothing he could have prepared for. To awake in the middle of the night and feel the absence of the power when Ispwich fell and then again only days ago in the middle of making lunch for Jared and himself when it was Dungarvan. It was like having something vital ripped out of him, leaving him breathless and shaky. And yet somehow he was supposed to lead the remaining eleven of them in the midnight celebration for Mabon when the last thing he wanted to do was celebrate the crossing over into longer nights.

It was ridiculous, he knew that, Mabon was simply the celebration for the end of harvest but it signified the coming darkness of winter and the thought made him shiver. Something more than longer nights and colder weather was coming.   

In the end, what was really bothering him though was that Jared was sensing something was wrong too. Guardians weren’t witches but they didn’t need to be, they had a second sense all their own. Usually it didn’t bother Jensen but there was more to Jared’s adamant refusal to leave him alone for any longer than necessary than just nerves. He doubted that his lover knew exactly what it was, pretty positive that if he did that he wouldn’t leave his side at all, but it was enough to have him spooked and that alone made it worse for Jensen.


Jensen glanced down at the big, black tomcat that suddenly appeared at his bare feet. “There’s something in the wind D.C.” He stepped over him and set his empty coffee mug in the sink.

With a thud, the cat settled himself on the kitchen counter at his elbow and peered into the sink.

“Cats don’t drink coffee D.C.” He muttered as he picked him up and deposited him back on the floor. “No matter what Jared might tell you.”

He rolled his eyes as the cat turned around and instantly jumped back up onto the counter. 

“You’re sure you’re a cat?” He muttered as he watched him gingerly step into the sink and nose at the empty coffee mugs.

“Millions of different animals in the world and I ended up with you as a familiar.”

He wasn’t surprised when the only response he got was the flick of a tail in his direction.

“Don’t suppose Jared and I are just jumpy huh?’ He muttered, feeling infinitely foolish for looking for answers from his cat, familiar or not, but couldn’t stop the words he couldn’t share with Jared, not yet. “I mean Dungarvan is in Ireland and Ipswich in England. Maybe Jared’s sect will have retaken the pools before this goes much farther. 

The cat lifted its head and blinked at him, its yellow eyes reflecting the morning sun coming through the window behind Jensen. He stared back at it briefly before he rolled his eyes, “You’re no help.”

As easily as he had stepped into the sink, D.C. twisted around and stepped out. He sat down on the counter beside it and began to wash his face.

He wished he could call his parents or better yet, that Jared could call his. Somebody outside of the coven had to know what was going on, what was being planned in regards to the fallen pools. If they had just a little something to go on, a reassurance that this was being taken care of, maybe he wouldn’t feel so twitchy. But there wasn’t a phone in the house, never had been, and regardless of that fact that they had cell phones, contact with their families was forbidden. Once you took up the calling, you were on your own until you were released from the summons.

Jensen pushed a hand through his short, cropped hair, forcing himself to move past the worries plaguing him, if he didn’t; he would end up holed up in the house, too paranoid to do anything. “I’ve got herbs to gather.” He muttered to the cat before turning and heading towards the back door. 

He might as well get on with his day, Jared would be back within an hour, of that Jensen had no doubt, and he would sit him down and tell him about Bree and his concerns then. Until then though, there was no sense in not going about the day like it was just another in a long list of days they had already been there.

A soft knocking at the front door brought him up short.

With a grunt of irritation, he spun on his heel and headed towards the front of the house while blowing out a breath. He really didn’t need some lost, “I was just out for a leisurely drive in the country” tourist looking for directions. But he couldn’t just pretend he wasn’t home, it went against everything his momma had ever taught him.

Plastering a smile on his face, he pulled open the door.

The man standing on the other side probably wasn’t much older than he was, maybe ten years tops but appeared to have kept himself in pretty good condition. His dark beard and hair had some grey in it but other than that, very little pointed out to him being mature, only his dark brown eyes, which seemed to be too wise for his face and too cold.

“You must be Jensen.”

Before he could do more than register his shock, he felt himself being thrown backwards, felt a sharp pain in the back of his head as he collided with the doorframe leading back down the hall and then nothing.


It was a long way up the steep path that lead to the cave in the Rockies. It was Fort Morgan, Colorado that kept the pool of Gaia hidden from the enemies that sought it. For as long as Jared could remember, his family was the one to keep the pool of Gaia safe from everything, especially evil. He was a destined guardian that trained since the age of four to be a respectable protector, for it was not only a duty, but an honour to uphold.

It was to his surprise that he eventually fell hard for the witch he was sworn to shield with his own life. A special, strong willed man, with glistening emerald eyes that had such immense intensity when he tried to charm people to get his way. He was a man that had a peculiar bond with thunder and the power to vanquish all evil in the palm of his hand. Jared knew then when he stood face to face with Jensen for the first time that all he was taught hadn't prepared him for the green eyed Witch.

Jensen had been something unforeseeable to say the least. The way he caused Jared to fall deep into a puddle of love was beyond Jared, but he was thankful none the less. Thankful for the passion within all the shared kisses and moments he kept close to his heart. Thankful he was aware that he was able to love and not be cold hearted as guardians in the past tended to be.

Sadie howled and barked, which quickly snapped Jared out of his thoughts and back to his jog with Sadie and Harley.

"Okay girl," Jared replied as he petted Sadie's wild brown fur. "We'll just take a five minute break, but that's it okay?"

Sadie and Harley just got situated on the soft brown gravel in response.

Jared shook his head, "For guard dogs you two are awful lazy you know that right?"

He turned to peer back the way he came, staring down at the sea of Evergreens, still brilliant with their color but almost dull against the reds and gold of the leaves of the Cedars threading through them, and pictured his home among them.

Jensen was probably in his herb garden by that point, gathering what he needed for the Mabon Sabbath, bare toes curling in the warm soil as he hummed under his breath.

Jared smiled at the thought wondering if he could get back to the house before Jensen was done.  The simple action was one that always calmed Jensen and in turn Jared.  It would be the perfect time to ask him to marry him.

A part of him was saddened that his family and Jensen's couldn't be there for the ceremony or even know that they would be getting married but he eased the ache with the thought that they would be happy for them if they did.  And, at least, they would have Jensen's coven there, more or less, if Jensen would consent to using the power of the pool to communicate during their hand fasting.  But he would have to if they were to be able to do it at least a little right, they would need someone else to oversee the ceremony and Jared wanted that.  He wanted to give Jensen at least some form of normalcy in their lives and having someone else officiate it for them, he could give him that. 

Jared was lost in thought about the proposal when there was a sudden sharp pain that spread right in his heart and eased its way down to his lower left side above his waist. The pain began to get sharp and immense and that was when Jared just knew, in his heart that flared with pain, Jen was in trouble. If it were any other time, if this hadn't seemed so important, Jared would have laughed at how Jensen, as a powerful witch with the power of thunder, couldn’t seem to manage to keep himself out of trouble. Then again, if he were to stay out of harm's way, Jared would be out of a job. 

With deep paced breaths he grabbed both Harley and Sadie so that they would follow him as he ran toward the house. Jared hoped that Jensen would be able to hold his own until then. He could only hope that they had been through worse; that the situation would be just like any other that they'd been caught up in. 

By the time his long legs plunged on the soft gravel pathway, the dogs were trailing behind. The dogs heavily panted but showed no signs of stopping. Jared had begun sweating along his forehead and armpits profusely, and his breathing had matched the pace his legs were running at.

Jared's heart had been pumping steadily, with pain that still flared though him, when he reached the big oak house. It was a strong feeling that pooled in Jared's stomach that alerted him to slip into the house quietly, otherwise he'd alarm the intruder Jared was sure was lurking about.


“I was beginning to wonder if you’d hit your head harder than what was good for you.”

Jensen tried to shut out the voice; it was too loud for his throbbing head and bounced against his skull like a sledgehammer. He tried to pull back, get away from it but quickly came to the realisation that he couldn’t move.

What the hell?

With that realization came the sudden knowledge that he was sitting against a tree, his arms pulled taut around its trunk and his wrists bound with heavy cord behind it.

He silted his eyes and peered into the cool darkness of a forest, probably the one on the property that he and Jared shared, and directly into the face of the man from his front door.

“What do you want?”

The pounding of his heart sped up as he realised that words that should have been a whisper were absent when he opened his mouth and only breath escaped.

The bearded man squatting before him chuckled, “Sorry I couldn’t risk you pulling any of your tricks now could I?”

He blinked his eyes wide and tried to glare through the tears of pain, as the soft light seemed to stab into his head.

“It’s a simple spell really,” he continued, completely unconcerned with Jensen’s stare. “One I’m sure you know. The binding will come off as soon as you are ready to tell me where the entrance to the Gaia pool is.”

His body jerked in its bindings. 

The pool, the man wanted to know the location of the Gaia pool which meant that he had to be the one that orchestrated the fall of Ispwich and of Dungarvan. 

Oh shit!

He shut his eyes and forced his breathing to calm, passing out from a panic attack wasn’t going to do him any good. So what if he couldn’t speak, which meant he had no way to defend himself? Not much time could have passed since he answered the door so all he had to do was hold out for Jared to find him. And he would, of that Jensen had no doubt. 

Jensen had been summoned to the strongest Gaia pool because he could control it. Jared had been summoned to the pool to protect Jensen because he was the strongest in his sect. Jared would find him and he would do what he was trained to do; he would get him out of this mess.

Of course, when it was all said and done, Jared would never let him live it down that he had been right and should have stayed at Jensen’s side. But that was something he was more than willing to live with.

Gingerly he shook his head no.

The man laughed the sound full of darkness.

“Bree swore you would be a tough one but everyone has a weakness.”  He drew out a bone-handled knife and flashed it before Jensen’s wide eyes.  “Hers was her Guardian.  Apparently the two of them have something of a relationship.”  He sneered, “Love makes people stupid and weak. Watching me peel the skin off of his body was too much for her. She didn’t even manage to make it past watching me skin his right foot before she was turning over the pool to me along with the locations of the other twelve pools, the fact that this pool was the strongest and exactly where it was.”

Jensen squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed against the bile rising in his throat.  This man, this maniac, had been skinning Alex alive, as much as he would rather not admit it to himself; he could understand why Bree had done what she did.  His only consolation in all this was that she hadn’t known about him and Jared so he couldn’t be used against Jensen.

Jay!  He screamed silently, Please!

“So what’s your weakness Jensen?”  He leaned forward until his putrid breath slid across his face.  “Hope it’s not your Guardian since I’ve already taken care of him.”

His heart stuttered to a halt and he bit the inside of his cheek hard against the scream trying desperately to tear free from his frozen throat.  He couldn’t have gotten to Jared, Jared was too good and that was why he had been summoned here.

The first time he had met Jared, five years earlier, as he had stumbled up the drive to the house he would be calling home, he hadn’t believed at first that he could be a guardian.  It wasn’t his height or his build, Jared stood at six foot four and even back then he had been pretty muscular for a twenty four year old but Jensen hadn’t believed that someone who seemed so uncomfortable in his own skin could protect himself, never mind anyone else.  But he had been proven wrong.  He had watched Jared move silently through the trees, the house, had stood by while he had practiced throwing knives and never once missing his target although it was twenty feet away.  Watched in awe as the same proficiency was proven with the gun he always kept nearby except when he was running.  And he had the hearing of a bat, Jensen could never sneak up on him and he couldn’t, wouldn’t, believe that this mad man couldn’t have taken Jared down, he just couldn’t.

“Did it the old fashioned way too. I waited until he jogged past me, jumped him from behind and slit his throat.”

His eyes snapped open and he tried to gauge the man’s height.  Could he have done that?  Could he be tall enough?  His mind flashed back to the brief assessment he had taken of him at the front door and the answer was heart shatteringly, probably.

“I’ll admit its crude but sometimes brute force over magic is actually refreshing.  Sometimes you have to get your hands dirty to really appreciate what it is you’re doing.”

Jensen narrowed his eyes, ignoring the wetness he could feel on his cheeks.   I’m going to kill you.

The man before him raised an eyebrow, “I stand corrected.  He was your weakness wasn’t he.”

It wasn’t a question, not that Jensen could have answered even if he had wanted to.  Instead he sneered at him and started to struggle against his bonds.  If he could use physical violence then so could Jensen.

“Oh I don’t think so.”  He hissed before a burning pain engulfed Jensen’s side.

The man drew back and smiled at him, “I really wanted to explain myself to you Jensen.  Make you understand why it is I’m doing this but time is short and I’m afraid that my knotting skills are lacking. Couldn’t have you getting loose until you hear me out, could I?”

He held the knife up and Jensen watched a thick, red liquid dripped from it.

“My family are witches too.”  He started conversationally, “In fact my great uncle was summoned to the Gaia pool in Ipswich.  Like you, I trained all my life but at forty figured my time for summoning had past but unlike so many others in our calling, in our little selective tradition, I started to think for myself.  See, the Gaia pools don’t see right and wrong, black and white but you and I do.  And just like me, haven’t you ever considered why it is that we are supposed to stop those that are non-magical, non-witches from getting near them?  Stop other witches not of our training from getting near them.  Shouldn’t we be using their power to control things?  Shouldn’t witches, who have been persecuted throughout history, who hold the ultimate power, be in charge?  I think so.  So I decided to do something about it.”

Jensen could taste the heavy metallic of blood at the back of his throat and he began to notice that it wasn’t just his panic or his grief making it hard to breathe.  He coughed trying to clear his throat and felt blood spill over his lips.

He tilted his head, glanced at Jensen’s side before he sat back on his heels and shook his head.

“So here’s the thing,” he appeared to be trying to smile reassuringly at Jensen but the look left him cold. 

“I punctured your lung and now it’s filling up with blood.  Basically you’re going to drown unless you give me what I want.  Give me the Gaia pool Jensen and I swear I’ll make sure you survive.”

He shut his eyes against the look of compassion on the man’s face, seeing it as nothing but a mask.  This man had murdered Jared, his Jared; did he really think that Jensen would believe that he wouldn’t be killed too?

“You’re powerful Jensen, of that I have no doubt.  You would make a good ally in the upcoming war.  You could be my right hand man.  Anything you want could be yours Jensen.  All you have to give me is the location of the pool and relinquish your control of it over to me.”

There was no way he would do that.  Even if the psycho before him could manage to get him into Fort Morgan and the small clinic could stabilize him for transport to the hospital in Denver and he could survive, he wasn’t going to give him what he wanted.  He was sent to protect the Gaia pool from madmen like him, not help them.  Besides, he had killed Jared, like there was any chance Jensen would give him anything now.


His head snapped to the side and a stinging sensation exploded across his right cheek but it wasn’t significant enough to make him react.  He was more in tune with the realization that the burning pain in his side was slowly cooling, his whole body succumbing to chills.

I’m going to die.

Logically, he knew the thought should be upsetting, that his self preservation should be kicking in, making him fight, making him consider giving the man what he wanted but it wasn’t.  The thought that he was doing the right thing, protecting the pool, protecting the world from this mad man, was enough for him. 

Besides, Jared was in Summerland waiting for him and Jensen wanted to be able to face him with a clear conscience.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat, held up only by his arms bound to the tree, feeling the blood escaping from his side lessening, the cold slowly consuming him and his life spilling slowly from his mouth but after what seemed too long a familiar scent overpowered the smell of his own death.

It was over, Jared had come to take his soul to Summerland and Jensen could hold his head high knowing he had accomplished what he had been trained to do.

“Jen…Jensen, please, open your eyes for me.”

It was harder then he imagined it should be.  Shouldn’t things be easier now that he was dead?  Shouldn’t the pain in his side be nothing but a misty memory?  Shouldn’t he have stopped feeling like he was drowning in his own blood?

He forced heavy eyelids to open and gazed up at Jared’s worried expression.

“J…” he tried to say his name but had to cough first to clear his throat enough to speak.  The spray of blood that appeared on Jared’s shirt was surprising and confusing. “Jay?”

“Hey,” he tried to smile but the attempt was weak at best. 

“Where…?”  He forced tired muscles to move until he could see around Jared and spotted the body of the man who had stabbed him laying on the ground a few feet away, his head at an odd angle.

Not dead then, at least not yet.

“I didn’t…” he had to cough up more blood before he could speak.  “I didn’t…tell… him.”

Jared nodded as tears slid down his cheeks.  “I never thought you would.”


He shook his head before he pressed his lips against Jensen’s blood stained ones.  “There is nothing for you to be sorry for.”

“Told you…”  He was so tired and it was getting harder to breathe.  He weakly spit blood and tried again.  “To go…would…be…fine.”

“Hey, no” His left hand came up to cup Jensen’s cold cheek.  “It’s okay.  I’m just going to bring this up every time you try to say you don’t need me around.”

He blinked trying to clear the darkness at the edges of his vision.  “There won’t be a next time.”

“Yes there will.”

Jensen smiled weakly up at him, “No.” he whispered low.  “Love…you.”

“Jensen.”  He sobbed and pushed his forehead against his.  “Stay, please.  I can’t do this without you.”


He could feel his body shutting down, how everything was slowly fading, pain, sight, hearing and he was so very tired.


Maybe it wasn’t as bad as he thought; maybe Jared had got to him in time.  Perhaps all he really needed was to sleep for a while and everything would be fine.

“Jen open your eyes!”

In a minute he thought, not realizing he hadn’t said it out loud. 

Just let me sleep for a minute.



When he got to the house a door was left slightly ajar and D.C was locked in the closet snarling at the top of his lungs. It was only an omen that danger was among them like a heavy shadow.

When Jared had reached the scene where Jensen was tied tightly to brown ropes while a man loomed above Jensen’s face, talking to him. From where he was hiding, he could practically smell the blood and knew that Jensen was not only hurt and tied but also hit with a very extreme binding spell.  

If Jen had been more prepared he would have been able to break out of it, but the fact that he couldn’t implied that Jensen was seriously wounded.

Jared slipped quietly behind the dark haired intruder, easily unnoticed, and grabbed him from behind then snapped his neck with such swiftness it was almost criminal. The man just fell right now to the unforgiving ground. After that Jared could think of better things.

“Jensen!” Jared yelled to his lover, as his knees hit the ground hard to hold Jensen tightly and tend to him. Oh god, Jensen.


Jensen died right in his arms, and in the moment he did Jared knew what it truly meant to be lonely as he looked upon a lifeless body, Jensen's body. That was when he began to get haunted with all the memories of Jensen Ackles.

The day he buried Jensen near a quiet and serene stream not far from the Gaia pool was when the guilt and fear pooled in his stomach. The moment he set foot near the stream was when Jared’s fragile mind was bombarded with precious memories he forever held close to his heart.

When Jared laid the body near the stream, he saw Jensen’s reflection in the cool water, except it was just a simple memory that played in the depths of the blue stream.

In the reflection Jensen laughed long and loud, with no confliction in his throat, just happiness as Jared chased him around because Jensen stole his favorite hoodie. It was the same navy blue hoodie that Jared placed on Jensen’s cold dead body.

Jared averted his eyes away from the stream and back to Jensen’s body, the tears that had silently fallen from his eyes had just been a pain that didn’t even compare to his silted heart.

As he picked up the shovel and dug into the soft dirt, he remembered the way he felt for the green-eyed witch. It hurt more than fire burning the skin that he wasn’t able to have forever with Jensen.

Jensen grinned wide as he laid on the on soft green grass that felt as soft a blanket, while the sun glared down on them warm and inviting. The air smelt of fresh cedars and pines and the faint smell of Jensen was also another strong scent in the breeze.

“Admit it,” Jensen said smugly, "I did awesome taking care of that soul eater. Come on, Jay, admit it!"

Jared kept a strong face while he said, "What you did was stupid taking it head on with your thunder power." Jared wondered that of all the powers that Jensen could have been blessed with it was something as dangerous as thunder. "You could've gotten yourself killed taking on a power like that." It was true, except Jared knew he had more than just Guardian friendship, hell the fact they were dating proved that.

Jensen leaned into Jared and placed his hands on Jared's shoulders and gently pushed him to the ground. Jared let out a small gasp of air as Jensen's scent floated so close to his nose while his body was also in such close proximity. Jensen knew how to press his body right up against Jared so that it would drive Jared to insanity.

With a small shallow breath, "Jen what are you doing?"

Jensen just smiled as he closed his lips over Jared's and began to kiss him softly at first.

"Well, usually after a couple's been dating for a while, they decide to take it to the next level." Then, Jensen's hands slipped under Jared's shirt, rubbing the skin he found there.

Jensen just needed to touch Jared's body while the heat of their kiss began to warm them up. 

Jensen inhaled as Jared began to take control of him the way he liked. Jared’s touches were sharper and his kisses grew way more intense, as if he wanted to devour Jensen whole. Jared’s pretty sure Jensen wouldn’t have minded in the heat of the moment and all.

The immense swell of Jared’s cock started to present itself the instant Jensen got more persistent and started gnawing on Jared’s neck pretty hard all while he grinded on Jared a little harder.

When Jared emitted a moan from his lips he realized this was all going somewhere too fast. He didn’t want one of his best relationships to be all about sex. He didn’t want that with Jensen, only because Jensen deserved better than that. Jen deserved to be treated like every partner in a relationship should. Jared knew if he said any of this out loud Jensen would probably have his balls for breakfast, so he had to admit his worries to himself.

Jared gently broke away from Jensen’s mouth and created a gap between them using his huge hand, being big did have advantages.

“Jen” It was whispered softly in Jensen’s ear as he gently tried to peel Jensen away from him.

“Look, Jen It’s not that I don’t want this to happen because I really do,” He squeezed Jensen’s hand to show that he had a reason for turning away. “But I want this to be special, not a relationship all about sex, ok? I want it to be a memory to look back on with fondness not regret.”

Jensen only stared at him, green eyes shining with love and something akin to desire, before he went back up to kiss Jared slow and sweet.

That was when Jared knew they would be forever. That what they had couldn’t be found in romance novels or soap operas; they were real.

“Ok Jay but only because you’re a stud, if you weren’t I would dump you for insulting me by turning down sex.”

Jared couldn’t help but laugh outright at that.


Jared walked into the room as Jensen flipped through his ancient copy of The Odyssey. It had a big black and ivy green colored cover with roman font scrawled in the front of it and was thicker than Jared’s head. Jensen had been in some type of funk right after the whole battle with Allison Mack and Alexis Bledel. They had twisted Jared and Jensen against each other, made them argue until they almost killed one another. Luckily, the anger and destruction spell wore off just in time to stop the girls from finding the Gaia Pool.

The only problem was that they were still in battle with each other and the way Jensen seemed to get when he was angry terrified Jared. Jared just hoped that if things got worse before they got better that he didn’t end up electrocuted. Or god forbid paralyzed.

Jared worked up the strength to finally walk in and decided to stand directly in front of Jensen. Of course Jensen was undisturbed by his presence and ignored him just to show cruelty.

“How long is this going to go on Jen?”

Jensen didn’t lift his head from the thick book, he just kept reading as if he was lost in the world of myths.

“You know I meant none of it right?” Jared asked making sure Jensen knew that all he said was just the spell.

That’s when Jensen lifted his head in anger and something parallel to hurt flashed dangerously in the witch’s eyes.

“See the problem with that Jared is that spell only intensifies anger. It doesn’t bring it out of thin air. What you were harboring deep inside, the spell brought in to the light. It’s true isn’t it? You think I’m a promiscuous stubborn asshole with no sense of direction?”

When Jensen spoke his voice was even and sounded full of hate, which caused Jensen’s thunder power to flash and made a table in the living room explode. Jensen didn’t even care that he was treading on harsh waters this time.

Jared visibly flinched at the harsh words that were slung back at him. It only caused Jared to stay silent because he could tell Jensen needed to vent his anger.


“When I think of you Jared, I think of a warrior, like Odysseus, someone strong that can beat all the odds and prove people wrong, a man who can fight at all costs. Now I think more than ever that we were only fooling ourselves.”

That’s when Jared’s faced twisted in confusion the words did reach his ears and went directly to his heart.

“What are you trying…?”

Jensen only looked at him coldly as he cut Jared off, “You know what I’m trying to say Jared.”

Jared had hoped more than anything Jensen had meant something different, anything else than what he was saying. His heart beat rapidly, so torn and mangled beyond repair.

“I guess Guardians and Warriors aren’t supposed to be together for a reason.” Jensen said, not meaning to cause any more heartache. “We need to get through this as Guardian and Witch or our love will be used against us and tear us apart. The fact you doubt me doesn’t help us either.”  

“You know that’s not true!” Jared screamed as he broke his silence.

Only Jensen didn’t want to listen, he just walked away to his room away from Jared.

That was when his heart ached the most it ever had in his life.


About twenty feet above the entrance to the Gaia pool was a shelf etched into the mountain side, accessible only by a steep natural path that was daunting at the best of times. It was Jared’s space, the place he went to when he needed quiet and nothing but the gentle wind to calm his nerves.

Only, recently, even being there did nothing to soothe him, proven by the fact that he had spent almost the entire day staring out at a horizon that once eased him but now only seemed to taunt him with just how alone he really was.    

"I've been worried sick and then the dogs show back up without you and this is where you've been all day! When the dogs came back I...I thought something had happened. And the point of you being a Guardian is to you know, protect me."

Jared glanced back over his shoulder and ensured that his face remained neutral, showing none of his surprise to see that Jensen appeared as upset as he sounded. But he refused to believe that it meant anything, not after the witch had done nothing but ensure that he understood that he meant nothing more to him than a Guardian. ”That's why I sent the dogs back, to protect you."

Jensen threw his arms up in frustration, "You're supposed to protect me!"

Jared turned back around and looked back out at the horizon, "You seem okay."

He heard the scuffle of feet but ignored the inclination to turn back, Jensen would do what he wanted, if he was intending to hit Jared in the back of the head, then let him, he really didn't care, not anymore.

"What have you been doing out here all day anyway?"

His voice was softer, the edge of panic gone now, but he heard him clearly now that he was only a couple feet behind him.

He absently shrugged his shoulders. He wasn't going to tell him that he had replayed every moment they had been together from the first time he met him and wondering how it had all gone so wrong. Wondering if maybe it had been him, that if he would have just kept to what he had been taught, just stayed clinical instead of giving in to his need to be friends with the witch and then more, maybe things wouldn't have gotten as bad as they had. So bad in fact that he was considering leaving, another Guardian would be summoned, it was just too hard being around Jensen and the animosity that hung between them. It was slowly killing him, pretending not to feel his heart bleed every time he looked over and saw nothing but blankness looking back at him.


He ignored the brush of fingers on his shoulder, ignored the need that flared within him. He had tried, over and over to bridge the gap that his words had caused to no avail. He wasn't going to put himself out there for Jensen to shoot him down anymore. He might have been purposely slow where he was concerned but even he knew when to give up.

"I'll be leaving in the morning."

It was instinct to reach up and grab Jensen's hip when he felt his leg push up against him quickly and unexpectedly, like it had given out on him. But he still didn't bother to look up at him, just kept his gaze focused out and away.

"Careful." He muttered low, ensuring that his voice stayed even, not showing any of the pain he was feeling. He didn't want to leave but he couldn't stay, not anymore. Not when Jensen's reaction to him being gone all day had made foolish hope bloom in his chest, when he knew, he knew, that it was useless and he would only end up hurt again.

Jensen gracelessly landed on the rock beside him and he could feel his stare. "Don't” He implored softly, "Don't leave me."

"I'll leave Harley and Sadie." He ignored the trembling hand that touched his thigh, ignored the desire to look over at him, just to see if maybe, finally, something had cracked Jensen's cold exterior. It meant nothing, it was too late and his mind was made up. "They'll track me once your new Guardian arrives." 

“Jared, don’t do this.” Jensen begged one last time.

“You made your decision, I made my own.” Jared said sternly. It had been hard to decide upon leaving all he had in Colorado because of one breakup. The only reason he was doing it was because if he stayed the one thing he couldn’t have would always be right in front of him. The though alone had been too much to bear.


It was, only a month later when Jared came back to check up on Jensen and his new Guardian. Apparently Justin Hartley hadn’t been such a great guardian since the man had landed Jensen in a situation that damn near got Jensen killed, which seemed very ridiculous for a guardian trained to protect.

“What does it matter Jared? He made one mistake!” Jensen yelled at Jared as he threw his hands into the air to show his frustration.

“Yeah, it was a mistake that could have cost you your life, Jen!” He reminded Jensen just as angry. “You know better than to put yourself in dangerous positions! If I was here-”

That was where Jared screwed up. They were the four words that made the biggest difference in the world, especially to Jensen.

Jensen walked right up in to his face and stared down at him as hard as he could just to break Jared, which he managed very well.

“What would you have done if you were here? Huh, Jared? Would you have chickened out and ran away with your tail between your legs?” Jensen just pushed him back in anger because Jared made him feel like crap.

“It was all for your own-” 

“Don’t! Don’t you dare Jared! Don’t go there unless you want your teeth knocked out! We both know you were the one being selfish in all this.”

“I was being selfish?” Jared asked as he pointed a finger to himself. “Wait a damn minute, weren’t you the one who jumped the gun and broke up with me just because you didn’t want to face the truth.”

Jensen gasped at that and took a couple steps back then covered his shock with determination. “You were just pissed I broke up with you and decided you couldn’t protect me anymore just because we weren’t together. You left your duties so don’t go busting Justin’s balls for his mistakes when you’ve made your share.”

Jensen turned to head out of the living room of his house, anger in his steps on his way to his room.

Jared stopped Jensen dead in his tracks with his words that Jared had practically forced himself to say. “I missed you.” It sounded as strained and heartbroken as Jared felt.

Jared knew that Jensen hesitated, due to the fact that it was not anyone was saying these words, it was Jared.

When Jensen finally turned around to face Jared, Jared walked up closer to Jensen and forced himself to speak once again.

“If you want me to go elsewhere fine, I’ll leave right now. It’s not like you were welcoming me from the minute I got here, but don’t think I don’t care what happens to you Jensen.” Jared felt that he needed to get it off his chest because Jensen just had to know and it would kill Jared if he never said anything. “I care what happens to you. I know I said some awfully stupid things that I can’t take back, but the truth is that I don’t want to take back any of it. All of it was one big test to show how strong we were.”

Jensen was, for some reason, still there as Jared babbled on nervously, trying to get out his apology in some way so it didn’t seem so obvious that he was apologizing. So far what Jared said was what Jensen wanted hear as far as Jared could see, but there were only two words that would wrap the whole conversation up entirely that Jared knew Jensen was waiting for.

“I get it; we failed at our relationship and consequentially our life. Anything else you’d like to add?” Jensen replied with a tired demeanor, which meant he just wanted the conversation terminated more than anything.

“I’m sorry.”

Jared saw as Jensen completely halted at that and knew it was something that caught Jensen by surprise.

“You know that no matter what, I’m always going to regret leaving you instead of fighting for you. I know this now ok?” Jared signed and then threw his hands up. “I’m still surprised that you still put up with me. I mean I don’t get it! Why didn’t you kick me to the curb the moment I came back, huh?”

That was when Jensen walked right up into Jared’s personal bubble and started to kiss Jared with all the passion he could muster. Jensen had smelled of cherries and green apples like a sweet and sour mixture that drove Jared completely insane. He didn’t care what the hell he did as long as it got Jensen to kiss him and let Jared hold him once again, he was happy with it.

“I think it’s clear I love you Jared.” Jensen said eyes in a haze filled with passion and lust and a ton of other emotions Jared’s mind was too muddled to think of at that point in time.

Jared put his hands on Jensen’s hips, admired the way they fit so perfectly, as he manhandled Jensen up so that Jensen’s legs could wrap around his waist and leaned Jensen’s ass on the nearest desk before he went back to devour Jensen’s mouth.

Jensen’s harsh breath mingled with his own as Jensen went for Jared’s shirt to rip it off his body. Without missing a beat Jared lifted his arms to help Jensen pull the garment off and reached to do the same to Jensen.

After that moment it had gotten a little hazy. Jared still wasn’t exactly sure who got naked first but what he could remember was that they both ended up naked before they crawled up to the bedroom too excited to wait. Pretty soon after that Jensen was already down on the bed lubed up and ready while Jared had slipped the condom on his cock. He remembered how he opted for slow since it was their first time together but of course Jensen didn’t mind what pace they went at as long as they went at it.

It was strange that their first time didn’t have that awkward “oh god it’s my first time with the guy I love” feeling. It was as if they had done this so many times before, like they had perfected it until it was a regular routine.

That morning he had woken up with Jensen in his arms, Jensen’s back to Jared’s chest, Jared had known that being there was where he belonged.

Jared knew that Justin could find another witch to guard because the one he held in his arms belonged to him.

When Jared finally reached his stopping point, he lifted Jensen’s body and laid it in the ground carefully. Then he went for the shovel again to cover the body with dirt and watched as the brown of the earth marred Jensen’s white skin. It disturbed Jared more than anything that he was the one put in this position. Jared was the one who had to bury his lover.

As soon as Jared had been done covering the body he returned to a house that was lost without Jensen Ross Ackles. It took two days until Jared went down on his knees as the drizzle of rain that came out of nowhere, just like two days ago, started to drop on him and turn the dirt beneath him to mud.

“I wish I could go back Jensen!” Jared cried up to the sky as loud as his throat allowed him to. “I want to go back! Give me a sign to fix this! I want a sign!!”

Then he completely crumbled over the ground beneath him like it held something precious, which it did.

Then, the sign Jared asked for shone bright as the flash of thunder crashed and made Jared sit up and turn to the direction of the Gaia pool.

Jared stood up as quickly as he could and rushed to the Gaia Pool because it held the cure to his fatal loss. It held all the solutions.

There's a secret buried beneath the dark brown soil. Underneath it was the Gaia Pool, the very same pool that his beloved was meant to protect.


Jared went down into the dark little area and straight to the Gaia Pool and knew what he needed would be there.

Jared walked up and snatched the Book of Shadows, a thick ancient leather book that was passed down from each protector that guarded the pool. In the Book of Shadows there were spells and information on rituals and certain celebrations and most importantly Jensen’s time reversal spell.

It was one that was never to be used unless absolutely necessary. Jared didn’t care one bit what the consequences were for bringing back a witch and messing with time. Jared didn’t even care that he was doing exactly what he was meant to stop.

Jensen had to be saved.

Jared went to the pool and laid his hands in the water before he went back to the Book of Shadows and recited the spell aloud.

“Let time rewind.”

He knew the spell would be tricky, that it might land him somewhere else, but he was all for the risks.

“Take me back to that time.”


 Part Two

10th-Aug-2009 11:18 pm (UTC)
Poor Jared, he is so devasted without Jensen. They are meant to be together

I love the art, It's great & it adds a lot to the story.
12th-Aug-2009 03:44 pm (UTC)
*Pets Jared* We're gonna blame loverstar for this one.

The artists were great! I wish I had half their talent but since even my stick figures are questionable... *shrug*
13th-Aug-2009 12:17 am (UTC)
Blame her for what ?

Yes they were & I wish I did to. Mine are probably more questionable than yours. I can't even draw a straight line with a ruler *** BG ***
1st-Oct-2009 09:26 pm (UTC)
OH I LOVE THIS... I mean, obviously I don't love that Jen's dead (for now at least) but the memories telling all the important parts of their story that we missed with that jump-in onset are there and making their relationship come to life and what great dramaturgy that is. will read on soon.
2nd-Oct-2009 02:15 am (UTC)
Yay! Glad you're enjoying it so far.
7th-Mar-2010 10:41 pm (UTC)
"Then he completely crumbled over the ground beneath him like it held something precious, which it did."
This sentense completely broke my heart. So beautiful.

Pretty much cried my way allthrough this chapter, which you should definitely take as a compliment. You write amazingly well!
And the art is beautiful as well!
13th-Mar-2010 01:52 pm (UTC)
Thanks and sorry for making you cry. *g*

I agree, the girls that did the art are amazing!
13th-Mar-2010 01:53 pm (UTC)
In the world of fan fiction, making someone cry should always be taken as a compliment ;)
16th-Mar-2010 11:22 pm (UTC)
Whoohoo then I did something right! Lol.
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