Title: That Complication Relation Sensation pt.1
Please see Master Post
for fic details.
Jared was extremely nervous when he approached Jensen at his locker about five minutes after lunch started Tuesday afternoon. It was freshman year and Jared wasn’t sure how to initiate a handhold. Do I act cool and just make a grab for his hand? Would that seem too macho of me? Or do I just be sentimental and ask straight out what he thinks? Nah too lame… Jared thought. For some reason all these lame situations and possible errors came up in his mind. What if I trip and land on my face because he moves his hand while I’m going to grab it? Or what if I step on his toes?
It wasn’t like he’d never held any one else’s hand. Well not if Sandra McCoy or Me-Ae Harris counted. Even though, it had just been a friend thing when he held Sandy’s hand to calm her during the horror film they watched or when he kept a tight grip on Me-Ae’s during the hospital stay she had due to her allergic reaction to pecans. Before it didn’t seem like such a hassle he just firmly grasped their hands to show support. It was no big deal but when he thought of holding hands with Jensen it was a whole new ball game for him entirely.
They’d only started dating during the summer before freshman year and Jared was still surprised that Jensen even agreed to be seen all the time with a goofball like him. Except during the summer Jared shot up an impressive amount that scared him as much as it did his friends. Of course Me-Ae, the loud observant talker that she was, was the first to point out how “fucking jolly green giant like” Jared had gotten in just a month or so. Anybody else he would have killed for a stupid comment like that. Except from Me-Ae it was a weird form of a compliment. If anything Me-Ae and Sandy, even Me-Ae’s twin sister Danneel, and Jared’s best friend Chad, encouraged Jared to embrace his gayness and ask out Jensen Ackles. Or as Me-Ae so gently put it, “Just go with the gayness and make a move already!”
To this day Jared knew it was the best advice they had ever given him.
“Hey.” Jared said, low and worried.
Jensen grinned, in spite of himself, at the coyness threading through Jared’s voice. They may have only really gotten to know each other over the last couple of months but their older brothers had been friends for years and Jensen knew enough about the other boy to know that Jared was rarely tentative about anything. He thought it was kind of endearing that Jared was tentative about what was going on between them, endearing and a little bizarre. It wasn’t like Jared had anything to be nervous about; in fact Jensen was still kind of surprised that the other boy had asked him out. Since his last growth spurt Jared had been receiving appreciative looks from both sexes and that fact that he had chosen to ask Jensen out, who really was shy and therefore most people thought standoffish, still shocked the hell out of him.
“Hey yourself” His grin morphed into a smile as he reached for Jared’s twitching hand. He threaded their fingers together and tugged until there was barely any room between them. “You okay?”
Jared looked down at their twined fingers then back up at his face, his dimples appearing as he grinned back. “Yeah”
Jensen tugged again until they were chest to chest and leaned up to place a gentle kiss on his lips. “Good.”
When Jensen smiled and kissed him the way he did, Jared could sense this feeling creep up inside him and tingle so warmly. The feeling was one he had felt from the beginning since he had started dating Jensen. Jared knew it was a good feeling but he couldn’t quite place it, not yet anyway but it meant something special.
"So, lunch?" Jared leaned back a bit as he asked his boyfriend to go eat at their usual spot outside.
When Jensen just tugged them down the hall with nothing but a bright smile, Jared felt on top of the world.
“Hey who said you could sit here?” Chris grumbled while Jensen slid into the chair across from him at their usual table in the library. “Oh wait, I think I know you.”
“Ha, ha” He grumbled back, “You’re hilarious.”
Chris flipped him off before going back to doodling in the margins of his Biology book.
“You have to admit Jensen; you’re kind of a rare sight these days.”
He turned his head slightly so that he could look at Steve before he shrugged. “Sorry I have just been busy as of late.”
Chris snorted, “Busy doing your boyfriend.” He batted his eyelashes at him.
“Shut up Chris.” He ignored the heat he could feel filling his cheeks. “Jesus, are you jealous or what?”
He mock shuddered, “Of what, gay sex? No don’t think so.”
Jensen rolled his eyes and flipped open his own Biology textbook deciding that silence was the better part of valor.
He wanted to work on his homework, his friends were not the only thing he had been neglecting as of late but everything still felt so new with Jared, even if they have been together for over five months already, but he could feel the tension at the table. It was hard not to notice when no one was talking. There was no trash talk from Steve about Chris’ poorly drawn stick figures in various sexual positions, no Chris snarking back about what would Steve know if position “C” is possible or not since he had yet to get laid. No bitching from either of them that even, if technically, it was their study period, that didn’t mean that Jensen had to take it to heart and that his inner geek was showing.
Instead tension laid heavy and thick and it was making him twitchy, making his skin itch.
“Look,” he said on a sigh. “I’m sorr…”
“Are you going to show up this Friday?” Chris cut him off. “Steve and I have been writing new lyrics and music. I,” he paused and glanced at Steve momentarily before continuing. “We want your opinion.”
Jared had a family dinner on Friday night but they had plans to get together after that. But it was a dinner to celebrate his father getting a promotion and his grandparents were supposed to be there, who knew if Jared would even manage to get away.
Jensen chewed on his bottom lip for a moment, he really didn’t want to tell Jared that he wasn’t going to be around, just in case, but on the other hand, it had been awhile since he had spent time with just his friends. And even he realized that that wasn’t right, the three of them had been best friends since they were little and until he started dating Jared, they had been the three musketeers. One night wouldn’t kill him, it wouldn’t kill Jared.
At least he didn’t think it would.
“Hey, you busy?”
Jensen leaned against the railing of the deck and stared through the window; back into the house, not sure if either Chris or Steve would come looking for him now that they were in their own little space where writing music came before everything. Usually he didn’t mind being pushed aside, content to sit and listen as chords and haphazard words morphed into more but tonight he was restless. It had been an honor to be asked his opinion of what they had written, recognizing that Chris was extremely protective of his work but that part of the evening had passed and now he just wanted to slip away and spend a few hours with Jared.
But if the background noise was anything to go by, risking his friends’ wrath would be for nothing.
“Hey.” The noise of Jared’s family faded until the sound of a door clicking closed echoed in Jensen’s ear. “I can take a few minutes. How are things with Chris and Steve?”
He shrugged before he rolled his eyes at himself. “Okay. But they’ve entered their zone so the world could end and they wouldn’t notice.”
Jared chuckled, the sound sliding down Jensen’s spine to pool in his stomach. “How are you?”
“Well my grandmother wanted to know if I found myself a nice girl yet and then my grandfather reminded her that I’m gay.” He chuckled again only this time the sound was embarrassed. “Then she wanted to know what gay meant.”
Jensen grinned, picturing how his cheeks burned bright when he was embarrassed. “So did you give her the big gay sex talk?”
He laughed; the sound was bright and relaxed. “So what did happen?”
“Jeff took it upon himself to explain that in today’s society gay does not mean happy but that I like boys…”
He was grinning so hard that it hurt, already knowing by Jared’s tone that somehow the message had gone awry and that his discomfort had only gotten worse.
“She said that she liked boys too, that she had a lot of male friends so that must make her gay too and what did that have to do with me not finding a nice girl?”
“Oh God…!” He choked out and had to wipe at the corners of his eyes.
“Shut up Jen. It’s not that funny.”
He tried to swallow down his laughter but he had met Jared’s grandparents and could picture his tiny, five foot grandmother, white hair perfectly curled, innocent confusion on her face and Jared spluttering the whole while.
“It kind of is.”
“Yeah, well that’s when my mother got involved and told my grandmother that I liked boys the way that she likes dad and grandma likes granddad. And then…” His voice choked off.
“Then she wanted to know the mechanics of gay sex.”
He had tried, tried really hard, because he knew it had to have been uncomfortable for Jared but what could his boyfriend expect when he said things like that. By the time he got himself back under control, he was bent at the waist, his stomach sore from laughing and tears were streaming down his face.
“You’re not getting head for a year!”
That stole the laughter from him, right along with his breath.
“Please tell me you’re kidding.” He swallowed hard. They had only just progressed to the point where they felt comfortable enough to actually start giving each other blowjobs but Jared seemed to have a natural talent for it. And if Jensen had to take a step back to just handjobs or rutting against him to get off he was pretty sure he was going to die. Or throttle his boyfriend or maybe both. He wasn’t completely sure on that yet.
”Nope” Jared responded but he didn’t sound like he was teasing or even angry, instead his voice was low, breathy, almost like it was when he was horny and there was a good chance Jensen was about to get off. “No more head for you.”
Jensen’s knees suddenly couldn’t support him and he slid down until he was sitting on the cool wood of the deck. “I’ll do anything.” He promised while he adjusted his suddenly hard and painfully trapped cock. “I’ll do your trig homework. Or let you fuck my face. Or…” He swallowed, “Come on Jay. I want you.”
“Jesus.” He moaned softly, “You want it that bad?”
“Yes.” He shut his eyes; still not believing just how badly he did want it, until there was a chance it might be taken away. But to be practically begging, scratch that, he was begging, it even surprised him. “Fuck yes.”
“Mom and dad are going out with Grandma and Grandpa tomorrow to go through some old stuff that they want to get rid of. Come over. Maybe you can convince me to change my mind.”
“Yeah” The word came out shaking and he swallowed to wet his dry mouth. “Yeah I…I want to.”
“Good because I’ve got plans for you Jensen. Plans that have to do with you sans pants and an afternoon in…”
He heard the door open and Jeff’s voice rang clearly in his ear.
“Jared, Mom’s looking for you.” There was a brief pause and then, “Who are you talking to and why are you flushed?”
“Shut up Jeff.”
“Aww are you talking to your boyfriend? Is that Jensen? Hi Jensen...”
“You are such a jerk.”
Jared’s older brother’s laughter was familiar, the same belly laugh from when he and Jensen’s older brother, Josh, were tormenting him.
“I have to go.” Jared grumbled, “Now that he’s found me, he’s not going to leave me alone until I go with him.”
He was disappointed, he enjoyed talking to Jared, missed not being with him and not just because of the promise of a blowjob and all the things he was just starting to tell him. But he understood and knew that he couldn’t keep him to himself, especially when his family was looking for him. It didn’t mean he had to like letting him go.
“Yeah, okay. Call me tomorrow when you want me to come over.”
“Will do” A slight pause “Night Jen.”
“Night Jensen bear.”
He rolled his eyes at Jeff’s words and snapped his cell shut.
Well if nothing else, now he had some seriously interesting thoughts to keep him company until he could take his leave. As long as Steve and Chris didn’t notice his hard on, he’d never live it down.
The whole scheme seemed as damned overrated as actually studying for one of Mr. Collins tests as far as Jared was concerned. Principal Morgan was being so unfair by punishing Jared and Chad the way he had. The prank had been completely harmless. Ok, so maybe messing with Principal Morgan’s lunch and adding a copious amount of glue to his seat so Principal Morgan would stick to it wasn’t their brightest idea to date. But then again, maybe they would have gotten away with it if Chad hadn’t decided to let loose his Uncle Perry’s rabid birds.
Jared slammed his locker shut. “This is the last time I ever listen to you man!”
Jared wasn’t fairing well with the consequences of the stupid prank he decided to help Chad pull off. He planned on putting his Spring Break to good use like going to the arcade or to the movies to hang out with Sandy, Me-Ae, and the rest of the gang. Or hell, go to the basketball game with Jeff. But now, thanks to Chad, the best he could hope for was sneaking in a little random, late night TV crap after his parents were in bed. Other than that, he had nothing to look forward to but whatever cruel and unusual house chores his diabolical parents could dream up.
Jared continued about complaining how horrible the punishment was. “Not only do I have to help clean up and assist in Principal Morgan’s office, but I have to give up about three weeks of Spring Break freedom because I’m grounded!”
Chad, unperturbed by all of Jared’s exploding fury, which he had about ten years to handle, just laughed at the never-ending rant. While he pushed back against the lockers and willingly followed his best friend through the hallway, the shorter blond ran a hand through his perfect hair before deciding that maybe he should say something.
“Come on man, it was an epic prank!” The blond put his hand on Jared’s shoulder as he tried to stare down the bitch face the taller boy wore. “Look man the prank was sweet. The only reason you’re bummed is because you can’t see Jensen at all.”
Jared hadn’t really wanted to bring that situation up, which was why he had tried to avoid that when he complained. He really should have known that Chad would broach the subject one way or another due to his douchebagness. Jared was even surprised that he wasn’t going off on a rant about not being able to see Jensen at all, but it was due to the big ache it caused in his heart.
“Whoa wait, Jay. What else happened?” Chad’s voice dipped low into realization that something was up.
Jared’s head dropped low, his long chocolate brown hair falling to crowd the front of his face. He hoped looking puppy like would help avoid the question but Chad still pushed with a silent stare Jared could feel.
“Um, Jensen is pretty much not allowed to see me since his parents think I’m a bad influence.”
Jared waited outside Jensen’s window, holding on to the window ledge for dear life while his boyfriend had the argument to end worlds with his father. The house was a huge two-story building made of brick and colored a fine shade of ginger. It was the second biggest house on the block but still stood out more than the others due to the expensive array of cars that covered the driveway. It was a bitch to just be dangling on a window ledge with a trellis under his abnormally huge feet.
“Dad it was one stupid prank! One dumb thing that was all out of fun and I’m forbidden to see him?” Jensen yelled and his voice was filled with nothing but unrelenting anger. Jared could tell Jensen thought the whole thing was more than a bit ridiculous.
Apparently, Jared’s actions led to the worse punishment for Jensen that beat Jared’s punishment by miles.
“That boy is a hoodlum JR, and nothing but. He hangs around with that Murray kid, who always seems to be in some sort of trouble. Your mother and I won’t allow you to be near those kinds of people. Not even his brother was that troublesome.”
It appeared to stun both Jensen and Jared that Alan Ackles was going to outright compare Jeffery Padalecki to his younger brother. It was a very low blow to Jared.
“Look,” Jensen said, trying to calm down, “can we fight about this later? I have homework to do and this isn’t helping.”
Alan just grimaced but nonetheless nodded at his son with agreement. “You get on that. Maybe that’ll take your mind off that Padalecki kid.”
“Jared, Dad. His name is Jared. You don’t seem to have trouble remembering Jeff’s name.”
Alan just ignored the comment and walked away, “Good night Jensen.”
Jensen didn’t hesitate to shut the door and quietly lock it before he went to open up the window to help his boyfriend up into the room.
Jared took the smaller hands in his and allowed himself to be pulled up into his boyfriend’s room.
Jared just wrapped his arms around the smaller man as tightly as he was able to without hurting Jensen. He just felt Jensen’s head drop to the curve of his shoulder and Jensen’s soft dirty blond hair tickled Jared’s neck. Jared felt the deep uncertain breaths Jensen took and Jared just moved his mouth down to Jensen’s neck to whisper soothing words into the other man’s skin.
Everything was far from ok at the moment, but they could try and pretend.
“I’m sorry man.” Chad replied being sincere.
Jared just nodded, “It’ll be ok.” Of course Jared didn’t believe that huge lie, but he had to hang on to any possible hope even if there was just a little left.
They strolled into their first period class with Mr. Collins and Jared sat down and tried not to obviously stare across the room at Jensen, who was four seats away from him.
Jared had a look of longing that he was sure was in the other boy’s eyes also, but it was gone the moment Mr. Collins began with his tirade on Of Mice and Men.
Jensen slammed his textbooks down on his desk and then kicked his backpack across his bedroom floor for good measure.
He spun around to face his older brother, Josh, standing in the open door, his hand casually curled around the doorknob.
“You’re supposed to knock, asshole.” He growled but the words held only bitter defeat laced with gratitude. It could have been his father, coming up to give him hell for slamming around in his room and as pissed off as he was, he really didn’t want to go another round with the old man. Not when his mother was already hiding in the kitchen pretending not to cry because she absolutely hated when her family argued.
He ignored the burn of guilt at the thought; if his father wasn’t acting like a tyrant then the fight wouldn’t have happened in the first place.
“I did knock.” Josh defended himself and at Jensen’s sceptical glare, raised his hands placating. “I did!”
The truth was that he probably had and Jensen had just missed the soft rapping while he tossed things around his room and ranted silently in his head. His older brother had relented years ago and started to respect his privacy when he had walked into his older brother’s room and caught him jerking off. Threatening to spill to their mother what her darling oldest was up to when he was supposed to be doing homework had worked like a charm. Plain and simple, it had been blackmail of the highest order but it had brought him a certain amount of respect from him so, as far as Jensen was concerned, it was well worth the extra penance in church the following Sunday.
“Whatever.” He grumbled and threw himself, facedown, on his bed. “What do you want Josh?”
He heard his door click closed softly before the bed shifted as he sat beside his hip.
“That had to be the stupidest question in the history of stupid questions.” He muttered as he dragged his pillow down the bed and bunched it up under his head. He shifted around until it was a comfortable lump and he could see his brother clearly without getting a crick in his neck or having to roll over onto his back. “It’s been a week and Dad is still sticking to his arbitrarily forbidding me from seeing Jared. How in the hell do you think I’m doing?”
“I think you’re doing about as good as when you were four and Mom told you that you couldn’t have chocolate ice cream for dinner. You know impressive temper tantrum and all.” His brother’s voice wasn’t quite teasing, an undercurrent of understanding that would be ardently denied if pointed out. But it still felt like he was being belittled for his feelings and bared his teeth at his brother because of it. Better to be pissed off then give into the burning lurking behind his eyes.
Josh raised a disbelieving eyebrow, “That’s it? No cursing? No taking a swing at me?”
Jensen turned back to his pillow and buried his face in it.
“Jesus.” He whispered the surprise thick in his tone. “You’ve got it bad for the kid.”
He pulled his head up only enough to ensure that his words would be clear. “Go away Josh.”
“Jen,” he sighed. “I actually came up here to remind you that this will blow over, just like everything else that gets him going. And it’ll happen quicker if you quit trying to pick fights with him.”
He gave up hoping that his brother would go away and rolled over onto his back. “I wasn’t picking a fight, unlike you; I still have to tell them where I am going.”
“You told them you were going to Jared’s.” The exasperation in his voice was clear. “Jesus Jensen, if that’s not trying to pick a fight then I don’t know what is.”
“To help him with his biology homework” He snarled back, “Dad is always going on that I need to get involved in tutoring other students that it will look good on my college applications.”
Josh shook his head, “Doesn’t matter if you were joining him to go volunteer at a battered women’s shelter. It’s still Jared and you told him that just to get him going.”
Yeah he had same as he had managed to work Jared into every conversation he had with his older brother, his mother and his father. It was childish and ultimately miserable but he didn’t care. His dad wouldn’t let him see Jared because of one stupid prank that wasn’t even Jared’s idea so he was going to torment his father until he either relented or kicked Jensen out. At that point he wasn’t sure if he really cared which option his father actually took, too pissed off that he couldn’t see that Jensen was getting older and was more than able to figure out if a situation or a person might steer him wrong. He didn’t need daddy trying to run his life for him, not anymore.
He slid his hands underneath his head and glared up at the ceiling in silence.
“Jensen, he just wants better for you than he had.” He knocked his elbow into Jensen’s hip. “Dad never got the chance to go to college and he doesn’t want to see you ending up in a low end job and fighting to make things better like he had to.”
“When have I ever done anything to jeopardize my future?” He grumbled, “Unlike you and yet I don’t ever remember him telling you who you could or couldn’t see.”
“Because it was never a screaming match with me” He shifted forward until he could force eye contact, “You’re the one with the short fuse, always have been.”
Josh snorted, “Yes true. Remember the three-day fight between you two when you first told us you were gay right before Christmas two years ago? And all he did was ask you if you were sure.”
“Well it was a stupid question!” He growled back, “Like I hadn’t thought about it long and hard before I told you guys since Texas is such a gay friendly State and all.”
He ran a weary hand through his hair, “It was a simple question from a father who was worried about his son since Texas is such a gay friendly State and all. And…” He raised his voice when Jensen opened his mouth to cut him off. “And he asked it politely from what I remember.”
Jensen clenched his jaw and let his eyes slide away to glare at the wall across the room from his bed.
“All I’m suggesting is that you lay off for awhile and in a week or two of non-pissiness “Huh.” Jessie had been one of Josh’s on your part mention that you’re meeting Jared for a burger or a movie or something.”
“It won’t work.” He grumbled and ignored the fluttering of hope in his chest.
“It worked for me.”
Jensen sat up, “He forbad you from hanging out with someone?”
He snorted, “Jessie Alan, Mark Smith and Jeff Padalecki.”
“Huh.” Jessie had been one of Josh’s first serious girlfriends but she did have a bad attitude and zero respect for anyone over the age of eighteen, including cops, so he could kind of see his dad’s problem with her. And Mark, Jeff and Josh had been thick as thieves, Jeff and he still were, until Mark’s dad had gotten transferred to San Antonio and they were forever up to no good. “But I never heard anything about any of that.”
Josh pointed to himself, “Non-confrontational son.” He turned his finger on him, “Confrontational son.”
He ignored the insult more interested in the chance that there might be hope yet for him and Jared. “Thanks Jeff.”
“Yeah, yeah” His arm snaked out and he ruffled his hair before he could duck. “Come on, we’re going out.”
Jensen blinked; it was rare for them to go anywhere together voluntarily anymore, “Where?”
“Well I have a date with Kerry from down the street.” He pulled himself up from the bed and winked down at him. “Chick flick.”
“Josh,” he groaned but still rolled off the bed. “I’m not going to a movie with you, especially a chick movie, and end up having to be subjected to you sucking face with one of the double mint twins.”
Crap, better remember not to call her that to her face. He chewed on his bottom lip but it was an ingrained reaction to either her or her twin sister. Petite, blonde and with a cup size that was bigger than their I.Q.s, it was hard to think of either of them as anything else.
“Good ‘cause you’re not coming.” He smirked at him, “Jeff and Kerry’s sister Sherry are.”
He narrowed his eyes, “And I’m going where exactly?”
Josh smacked him on the back of his head. “Jeff’s parents are out for the evening and Jeff is coming with me. Megan will already be in bed…” He let his voice trail off and raised his eyebrows.
“You’re sneaking me over to Jared’s?”
Was it possible? Josh could be an ass and had the habit of defending their father but sometimes he could be an awesome big brother when he decided to be.
“Mr. and Mrs. Padalecki are supposed to be home by midnight but I’ll be back for you by eleven fifty-five at the latest. Make sure you’re ready to go.”
“Josh,” he wanted to hug him but figured that might make things awkward or worse, make his brother reconsider taking him with him. “Thanks.”
He rolled his eyes but he was smiling softly. “Come on.” He headed towards the door, “I’ve still got to pick up the girls and Jeff and our movie starts at eight.”
Jensen knew he was going to have to tone down his own smile before they got downstairs and his father spotted it. But he was going to see Jared outside of school and away from anyone that might accidentally tell his dad that he was still dating the other boy.
Life was looking up.