Title: That Complication Relation Sensation pt.4
Please see Master Post
for fic details.
Jared slammed his locker door shut a little harder than necessary but it didn’t seem to help ease the rolling of anger in his stomach.
Just like some many times, too many fucking times, just as he and Jensen had made it to their lockers, Kerr Smith had come running up, pissing and moaning about another thing that had gone wrong, or some shit to do with the newspaper or his article or something, Jared no longer really listened, and of course Jensen had given him that same apologetic glance before running off to save the day.
Or that was what he was certain that Jensen was hoping he believed was what was going to happen. The problem was that Jared wasn’t really buying it any longer. How could he when every single time he turned around Kerr was there and Jensen was leaving with him? And the hardest part to swallow was the looks that Kerr kept giving Jensen that Jensen swore weren’t there. But Jared wasn’t stupid, he knew the I want look when he saw it and it was there on Kerr’s face every time he looked at Jensen. What he didn’t know, but was beginning to feel like he needed to know, no matter how much he didn’t want to know, was if the feeling was returned.
The thought made him sick, Jensen wasn’t the kind of guy to cheat, it just wasn’t in his make up but Kerr couldn’t be that much of a fuck up that he couldn’t go two days without needing Jensen to fix things for him at the paper. He couldn’t be. And if he wasn’t, then what other reason could there be for Jensen to push him to the side and make time for Kerr besides having something going on with him on the sly.
The idea of Kerr’s hands on Jensen’s skin, his lips touching where Jared rarely got to be anymore made his hands curl into fists. He ground his teeth together trying to keep down the urge to slam his fist into his locker.
There was one way to solve this. All he had to do was go down to the room the paper used as an office and see for himself. If there was nothing besides work going on, then he would grovel for the next however long it took for Jensen to forgive him for being an ass for months but if there was then better to take this out on Kerr then his locker. His fists may hurt just as bad hitting flesh but it would be so much more satisfying.
“What did that poor locker do to you?”
Sandy appeared in his line of vision, sliding in to lean back against his locker.
“Did it eat one of your text books?” She raised an eyebrow as she took in the tense line of his shoulders. “Jared?”
“Kerr fucking Smith” He spat out.
Her face cleared into one of understanding and she sighed, “Don’t tell me. Kerr needed help with his article.”
“That’s what he said.” He managed not to yell.
She stepped forward and curled one small arm around one of his and twisted and tugged until they were facing the opposite direction from where he had just been planning to go. “Well its Jensen’s job to help. And the good news is that there are only a couple more months of school and then Kerr Smith will be out of your lives for good.”
“Sandy I need to go the other way.” He refused to let her pull him down the hallway.
She kept her grip on his arm but turned enough that she could look up at him head on, “No, because you look like you’re ready to commit murder so I’m not going to let you storm off down that way and make an ass of yourself.”
He glared down at her, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Sandy snorted and rolled her eyes, “Of course you don’t. Just like you and Jensen haven’t been fighting a lot, I mean a lot, a lot.”
Maybe there had been more arguments between them of late but there hadn’t been that many, at least he didn’t think there had been so much animosity between them that their friends had started to notice. Apparently he had been wrong.
This was a bad sign, a very, very, bad sign.
“I just want to see him.” He knew he sounded like a petulant five year old but at least he managed to stop himself from pouting.
“Why?” She wrapped both hands around his wrist and tugged until he started walking with her towards the cafeteria. “I know you Padalecki and I’m pretty sure I can see a lot of green tinting your skin right now. You go storming into that office and all you’re going to do is piss Jensen off, ensuring that he knows that you don’t trust him.”
“It’s not that!” The response was instant, maybe that was his subconscious trying to tell him something or maybe it was just self-preservation. He didn’t know which though he desperately wished he did.
“Well then there is no reason why you can’t come to lunch with me and everybody else.” He caught her looking at him from the corner of her eye, “After all, with no distractions, maybe Jensen will get everything straightened out quickly enough that he will be able to join us.”
Sandy looked sweet and innocent but not only was she a woman but she was friends with Me-Ae and Danneel, which guaranteed that she, was also sneaky. There was no way he could argue that without having to explain himself. And it was one thing to be worrying about the idea that Jensen was fucking around on him but an entirely other to admit it to their friends. Chad and the girls might have been his friends first but they loved Jensen almost as much as he did and Jared didn’t doubt for one minute that they would defend his honour, at the top of their lungs if need be. Even to him.
He swallowed back his sigh of frustration and forced his muscles to relax. “Hopefully you’re right.”
It was hard to sound like he believed it when there wasn’t one part of him that did.
Jensen pushed his fingertips into his temples trying to stave off the headache threatening and ground his teeth together. What had made him think that working on the school paper his senior year of highschool would be a great idea? There was already far too much on his plate with his advanced classes to cut into any time he had with Jared and adding somehow arbitrarily being saddled with being editor and any free time had been cut down to practically nil.
He wasn’t even sure how he had ended up as editor other than the paper’s editor had graduated the year before and his Advanced English professor Mr. Collins had decided that he would fit the bill. He could admit that at first, he had thought it was pretty cool that Mr. Collins thought he was good enough to take the position especially considering it was his first and only year on the paper and he was only there because his dad thought it was something else that would look on his college applications but that had been before he realised just how much work was involved.
And now he had to contend with Principal Morgan’s propaganda piece that he insisted be put out at the beginning of each semester detailing the top students in each class. It should have been an easy piece but Jensen was beginning to learn that nothing was easy where the paper was concerned, especially when it meant that he had to work with Kerr.
It wasn’t that he didn’t like the guy, he seemed friendly enough and Jensen could overlook the fact that maybe Jared was right and Kerr had a thing for him but it was causing problems between him and Jared. It wasn’t just Kerr, exactly, he was pretty sure Jared would be bitching about never seeing him and all the broken dates because of the piece but adding Kerr to the mix had just made things worse. And it sure as hell didn’t help that Kerr had even more of an excuse to hunt him down in school and pull him away from Jared to answer questions or discuss the missing stats that were needed or Kerr’s ideas of how the piece should be laid out to make it visually appealing.
At least it should be done by the end of next week and then he would find the time to spend with Jared and it would hopefully curb his boyfriend’s jealousy. Jensen couldn’t even muster the anger or the urge to be hurt anymore at Jared’s thinly veiled accusations that maybe there was more going on between him and Kerr than just a professional relationship.
He groaned as a set of hands landed on his shoulders and started kneading the tight muscles underneath.
Kerr chuckled, “Feel good?”
Jensen let his eyes fall closed and tilted his head forward to allow him more room to work. He knew he shouldn’t and, in truth, the groan had only been partially appreciation. The rest of it had been his mounting frustration at Kerr’s need to touch him constantly and his self disgust that it felt too good and there was a minimum of another hour of him stuck at his editor’s desk and three days until he could squeeze some real time in with Jared and maybe beg him for a massage to throw him off.
“You work too hard, I think.”
“I don’t have a lot of choice.” He mumbled.
“Hmm” Kerr hummed low, “Well I’m thinking you should be able to take a break at least. I’m done for the day, how about coming with me to grab a bite to eat? I’ll drive you back.”
What little tension that Kerr had managed to coax out of his sore muscles came back with a vengeance. The last thing he should do was to go out with the guy that Jared absolutely despised with a passion. Plus there was the added negative effect that Kerr might take it the wrong way. Maybe he was being overly paranoid about the situation and maybe Jared’s constant assertion that he believed Kerr would use whatever opportunity he could get to get to Jensen was starting to make Jensen look at, most likely, innocent situations badly but it was probably better that he didn’t.
He stretched his arms outward and around his laptop as he leaned forward over the desk to get out of Kerr’s grasp and to try to ease some of the returned tension out. “Nah” He muttered before he stood up and turned so that he could see him. “I was only planning to stay for another hour anyway. If I leave now, I just won’t want to come back.”
Kerr took a step back and then another, “You’re sure?”
He smiled, “I’m good.”
“Well okay then.” He shrugged, “Maybe another time.”
He watched Kerr walk back to his desk, grab up his things and leave the room. As soon as he cleared the door, Jensen felt himself relax a little. He couldn’t wait until this project was over so he could go back to spending more time with Jared, less time with Kerr and if he was lucky, Jared would lay off his “Kerr is after you” bullshit and Jensen wouldn’t feel like he had to second guess everything the poor guy said or did.
Jared slid out of his truck, shut the door and leaned his back against it, just trying to give himself a few minutes to pull his constantly simmering anger back under control. He shouldn’t feel like that, after brief phone calls and even shorter text messages, he was finally going to be able to spend the afternoon with Jensen and he should be happy.
The problem was he wasn’t.
Instead, he was just about fed up with feeling like he was the family pet that Jensen occasionally called and was expected to come running. The really hard part to swallow was that he was forever doing just that.
It wasn’t like he didn’t have his friends or school work to do and he could entertain himself but everything else came second the minute Jensen said he had time and wanted to see him. He would just drop everything and come running like a dutiful little, affection starved puppy and he made himself sick.
He couldn’t really decide if it was ironic or just plain sad that not even five months earlier he never felt that way and yet he had been doing the exact same thing back then to. Of course before he had become the editor for the school paper in the beginning of September, Jensen had always been more than willing to come running when Jared asked him to. But now that there was the paper and Kerr fucking Smith and his constant need of Jensen’s help, Jared was suddenly pushed down the list of what was most important in Jensen’s life and being a Jensen’s beck and call seemed less dutiful boyfriend and more being an idiot.
He sighed as he pushed off the sun warmed metal and made his way up the front walk, trying to shake the feelings. It wouldn’t do any good to bring them up to Jensen, it wasn’t like they hadn’t already fought, over and over and over again about it and he was so sick and tired of fighting.
He glanced up at the sound of the front door opening and felt another spike of self-disgust when his traitorous heart picked up speed to find Jensen standing just inside the house and smiling at him like he still meant the world to him.
“Jay.” He murmured, sounding happy and relieved, curled his fingers into the fabric of his coat and pulled him forward while stretching up to kiss him.
Jared wasn’t sure exactly what prompted him to do it, his anger at himself or his anger at Jensen, but at the last minute his turned his face away and not quite gently bit the side of his boyfriend’s neck.
Jensen’s body stiffened and Jared wrapped his arms around his waist to ensure that he wouldn’t pull away. Only that didn’t seem to be Jensen’s plan because instead of struggling, he pushed himself closer.
“Are you horny Jay?”
He lifted his head from the flesh he had been abusing and pushed against him until he got the idea and started walking backwards. “Always” Which was the truth, as pissed off as he was, Jensen still drove him crazy and he still wanted him, all the time.
He caught the edge of the open door with his foot and kicked it closed before going back to gnawing on Jensen’s neck. Maybe Jensen was right and he was letting his insecurities get the better of him and there was nothing going on between Jensen and Kerr Smith but that didn’t mean that Kerr didn’t want there to be. And since Jensen seemed to be completely on board with the idea of Jared marking him if the line of his hard dick pressing against Jared’s thigh was anything to go by, he wasn’t adverse to the idea of marking his territory so that Kerr knew to keep his damn hands to himself.
“Guess it’s a good thing nobody’s home then huh?” He was trying to tease but Jared could hear the breathless quality to his voice.
He slid his arms up Jensen’s sides and grabbed his upper arms. “Bedroom” He growled, spun him around and pushed him towards the stairs.
He wasn’t sure what to expect, exactly, Jensen didn’t usually take being practically ordered to do something well and if he wanted to fight about it then Jared would be more than happy to fight, though he’d much rather being having sex.
It shouldn’t be like that, he shouldn’t being feeling like he either needed to fuck or fight but that was all that they seemed to be doing recently. A distant part of him ached with the thought but it was buried beneath the crawling sickness he felt every time he saw Kerr touching Jensen or he thought about it that it was pretty much drowned out. All he was certain of, all that felt good at the moment and eased some of the jealousy was looking at the purpling bruise on Jensen’s neck and the thought of marking him up all over, making sure that he and Kerr knew exactly who Jensen belonged to.
Jensen smirked over his shoulder at him before taking the stairs two at a time. When he reached the top he pulled his t-shirt over his head and threw it back down at him. “Well come on then pushy.” He murmured before heading down the hall.
Jared grinned darkly as he grabbed the shirt up from where it had landed on the bottom step and began to make his own way up the stairs.
Something shivery slithered up Jensen’s spine as he listened to Jared make his way up the stairs. He knew he should be pissed off with him for ordering him around like he had a right to but, much to his embarrassment; it actually kind of turned him on. Oh he knew that this more dominate Jared stemmed from what was going on between them and he knew that Jared wasn’t particularly pleased with him and that he should probably stop what was going to happen and try to talk it out.
Because that had worked so well for them recently….
But it wasn’t just that, he wanted to let it happen. He wanted to let Jared take control and mark him up and fuck him until he couldn’t remember his name. Anything, anything, to try to help him get over his insecurity of thinking that maybe Jensen had something going on with Kerr. And if it took him letting Jared suck and bite bruises into him then so be it.
There was also that little part of him that was turned on by the fact that Jared could manhandle him enough to actually do it. He hadn’t appreciated Jared’s last growth spurt that made him taller than Jensen when it had happened, but now it didn’t seem like such a bad thing.
He had his jeans undone as he stepped into his bedroom and was already sliding them down when Jared spoke from behind him.
“Commando” He teased but his voice was husky and full of dark promises. “Are you horny Jensen?”
He kicked them all the way off and crawled onto the bed to settle on his back before turning to look back at Jared who must have taken his jacket and shirt off as he had come up the stairs and was currently pulling off his socks while still watching him.
“I haven’t spent any quality time with my boyfriend for a week.” He raised an eyebrow, reached down and slowly started to stroke himself. “What do you think?”
Jared growled at him and ripped off his jeans and boxers, Jensen was pretty sure he heard a seam or two rip.
“Are you going to help me with this?” He teased, not able to help himself even though he knew that Jared wasn’t particularly happy, he still trusted him not to hurt him.
“You want to get fucked Jensen?” He crawled up onto the bed and slid in beside him.
He turned his head and mouthed along Jared’s jaw, “Enough so that I prepped myself waiting for you to show up.”
Actually his plan had been to pretty much jump Jared the minute he got through the door and ride him until neither of them could remember their names but somehow he didn’t think that was going to happen now.
His hand landed on his hip not quite pressed against him, his fingers biting into the soft flesh. “Roll onto your side.”
Jensen pulled his head back and stared into Jared’s dark eyes, “What?”
He knew Jared was pissed at him, at Kerr, at the whole situation they were in but he didn’t think that he was pissed off enough that he didn’t want to look at Jensen while they were having sex. And that realization hurt worse then the almost accusations of him cheating ever could because for some reason that made him feel cheaper than those ever had.
Jared smiled slightly, more a brief tilting of the corners of his lips. “I want to see.”
Lust slammed into him, spiking through his body and making his cock ache with the need to come. The thought of Jared wanting to look, to maybe touch was almost enough to make him embarrass himself. He let Jared guide him to lie on his side and push his left leg up, exposing himself further to his gaze. They had been together for so long now that it was rare when he felt the urge to squirm under Jared’s scrutiny but this was something new, something different and he had to curl his fingers into the blanket to keep from fidgeting.
Jared slid his hand up the backside of his thigh, blunt nails laying four stinging paths in their wake before trailing across his ass cheek.
He couldn’t help but close his eyes against the sudden intrusion of two of Jared’s fingers suddenly slipping inside him. It wasn’t painful or even uncomfortable, really, he had known what he had been doing when he had stretched himself but there had been no prelude, no teasing at all and it bordered on almost violent.
“Jesus.” Jared hissed low and pulled his fingers almost all the way out before quickly pushing them back inside. “Look at you, all slick and open, just waiting for it, just waiting for me.”
His voice slid down Jensen’s spine, thick with lust and a possessiveness that painfully tightened something in his stomach. This encounter had nothing to do with reconnecting but everything to do with Jared proving exactly whom Jensen belonged to. A part of him wanted to put a stop to this, force Jared to talk to him about the caveman behaviour but it hadn’t helped before and he doubted it would help now. Besides he had already decided that if this was what Jared needed to ease some of his irrational insecurity then he’d take it.
Just as sudden as his fingers appeared they were gone and something blunt was slowly pushing into him.
Jensen could admit that he had a hang up about being able to look into Jared’s eyes when they had sex and until now Jared had always gone with it.
“Shhh” He breathed into his ear, “I’m right here.”
He wanted to laugh, he knew exactly where Jared was and exactly where he wasn’t but the breath was stolen from his lungs as he began to thrust into him.
He couldn’t deny that it felt good but only because it was Jared, not because of the position they were in.
He shut his eyes and bared his neck to Jared’s teeth. He had let this happen because he knew what was driving Jared and he could only hope that it would settle his insecurity about him and Kerr. Besides, it wasn’t like he wasn’t enjoying it.
“So tight Jen” Jared breathed against his neck, “You feel so good.”
He groaned softly as he hit his prostate and mindlessly started pushing back against his thrusts looking for more.
“Missed you spread open for me.” Jared growled and reached around to grab his cock tightly. “You’re taking me so good.”
“Missed you” He moaned back and his back bowed as he started to jerk him off, his grip just this side of painful.
It wasn’t going to take long with the way that Jared was managing to hit his prostate on almost every other thrust and the fact that it had been a week since they had managed more than a couple of quick make out sessions.
“J...Jay I’m going to...” He tried to warn him, as his balls drew up tightly.
“Mine.” Jared growled and bit into his shoulder blade.
Jensen yelled, the pain mixing with pleasure as he started to come.
He groaned around his mouthful of flesh as Jensen tightened up around him and tore his orgasm from him.
Absently he felt wet heat filling him but it was a distant thought compared to the pain radiating from his shoulder. He wanted to be pissed about it but Jared was a warm weight against his back and he didn’t want to start a fight now.
Instead, he let his forehead fall into his pillow and relaxed his whole body.
Fuck it, he’d worry about it later.
Jared poked, half-heartedly, at the cheeseburger sitting in front of him before he finally gave up all pretence of having an appetite and sat back in his chair.
“Jared Padalecki is not hungry. That has to be the first sign of the apocalypse.”
He glanced across the cafeteria table at Danneel, trying to ignore the concern in her eyes and managed a weak smile and a shrug for her benefit.
“Jared,” she started quietly and leaned forward. “Do you want to talk about it?”
He glanced away and let his eyes drift from empty chair to empty chair at their usual table, relieved that none of the others had managed to work their way through the line up to get their food. If they had then there would be the added bonus of Sandy and Me-Ae at him and Chad’s usual bullshit about men not being pussies and needing to discuss their feelings. It would have been distracting and maybe the girls would forget to grill him about why he didn’t really have an appetite but it wasn’t nearly as fun watching them gang up on Chad and tear him apart when he didn’t have Jensen with him to comment on the fun.
And that was the problem, Jensen had said that he was going to try to make it to lunch for the first time in three days but he had called Jared just after the bell had rang letting him know that he wouldn’t be able to make it. Then to add insult to injury, when he had asked if he wanted him to grab him something from the cafeteria and bring it to him, he had said it was already taken care of. What he hadn’t added was that it was Kerr that was taking care of it for him, which Jared wouldn’t have known only he had slid out of his last class ten minutes early on the pretence of having a doctor’s appointment and had seen Kerr coming out of the cafeteria carrying two full lunch trays.
Apparently he couldn’t take the time to have lunch with Jared but he could with Kerr and wasn’t that just fucking wonderful?
Like it wasn’t bad enough that they hadn’t seen each other, since Sunday and maybe Jared had made certain he was scarce because he still felt guilty for what had happened between them, but when he finally got the balls to face his boyfriend, he had been stood up again. Of course Jensen said it was to finish the piece for the paper but that little part of Jared that just wouldn’t shut up and insisted on whispering all the negative aspects of a situation gleefully pointed out that he could take a break long enough to eat with Kerr.
Eat with Kerr in the school newspaper office, the probably devoid of anyone else, newspaper office.
He was so fucking tired of playing second fiddle to someone else, Kerr, in his boyfriend’s life. It had gotten to the point that it no longer mattered that Jensen swore that the stats piece would be done by Thursday evening and he only had a little under twenty-four hours left to wait for that to happen because it would just be a different piece and a new due date and Kerr. Jared could no longer convince himself otherwise.
He blinked Danneel back into focus, not realizing but not really surprised that he had drifted so far into his own thoughts that he hadn’t even noticed Sandy, Me-Ae and Chad finally showing up. The only chair left empty now was Jensen’s but he was busy, in the newspaper office, eating lunch with Kerr.
“Only two more days and Jensen will have some free time.” It was kind of scary how easily she seemed to figure out what was bothering her friends.
Yeah, right. He thought dismally and pushed to his feet. “I’ve got some homework to finish for next class.” He muttered and grabbed up his untouched lunch tray.
He ignored them calling to him as he walked away.
Jensen pushed through the throng of students milling the hallway, trying to make it to Jared’s locker before he disappeared into his last class of the day.
He wanted, needed, to see Jared, so tired of nothing but brief phone calls and distant text messages since that fateful afternoon last Sunday. He wasn’t stupid, he knew Jared was avoiding him and he had a pretty damn good idea as to why. It wasn’t just about Kerr and the paper anymore, although that was a huge fucking part of it, he was certain it also had to do with how things had gone on Sunday. Jared was the type of guy to do things when he was pissed off and not thinking clearly and then over analyze them after. He wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t feeling a little or maybe a lot guilty for the way he had treated Jensen but he needed to understand he wasn’t the only one to blame for the way things had gone down.
He had known that he should have stopped him and tried to talk. But Jared wasn’t the only one tired of fighting and Jensen was almost at the end of his rope listening to his idiotic fears over Kerr. He had wanted to pretend that things between them were fine for at least a couple hours and that they were on the same page again. Only that hadn’t really been what happened and now things seemed more screwed up then ever.
He could easily make out Jared’s head above the students closest to him and had just opened his mouth to call out for him to wait when someone grabbed his arm.
Jesus fucking Christ! He snarled silently and spun around, effectively pulling himself from Kerr’s grasp. “Don’t call me Jen.” He growled.
“Sorry.” Kerr backed up a step, “I thought I heard you answer to it before. I didn’t mean to piss you off.”
Jensen ground his teeth together, trying to rein in his frustration. Nothing going on in his life was really Kerr’s fault; he just happened to have the unlucky happenstance of being involved in the paper and therefore he was tangled up in the mess. The way Jared was acting, it could have been any guy, hell at that point Jensen believed it could have been Chris and Chris was straight, and Jared would still be overreacting. But on the other hand, Kerr wasn’t a idiot, he was sure that he could survive and function for ten minutes without needing to instantly clear something with Jensen when it came to the paper. If being the editor meant that he couldn’t get a minute’s peace then no wonder no one who had seniority over Jensen had complained when Mr. Collins had made him editor-in-chief.
“Yeah, well doesn’t mean I like it.” He grunted, not entirely the truth but there were only certain people that he accepted calling him Jen and as much as Kerr seemed like a nice enough guy, he wasn’t among the privileged few.
He glanced back towards Jared’s locker and counted himself lucky that he was still there and didn’t seem to have noticed Jensen or Kerr. He was pretty sure if he had, he’d be gone like a shot and Jensen really needed to talk to him. Just for one minute, just to run the risk of catching hell from one of the teachers for kissing him in the school hallway, just to be able to reassure himself that he still had the right to do it. That Jared would still let him but to be able to do that, he needed to get rid of Kerr and fast.
“What do you need Kerr?” He asked, turning back and raising an impatient eyebrow.
He watched his eyes flicker the way Jensen had looked and when he met his gaze again, his seemed to be filled with apprehension or maybe it was pity. The apprehension was easy enough to understand, Jared hadn’t made it secret that it pissed him off when Kerr appeared, seemingly constantly, at Jensen’s elbow but pity, not so much. He had nothing to pity Jensen for, unless he felt bad for pulling him away from his apparent goal of getting to Jared.
“I was thinking that since you want to push until we’re done tonight, that maybe we should take a break around eight and grab a bite to eat.”
Jensen blinked, seriously? Kerr had hunted him down to ask him if he wanted to grab a bite to eat tonight instead of just pushing until they were done. Jesus Christ, he could have waited until Jensen got to the newspaper office after school.
“Yeah, fine. Whatever.” He started to turn again, his own patience with Kerr growing thin.
“It just thought it would be easier than trying to order a pizza to the school after hours. It’s just that one of us would have to wait at the office door to let the delivery guy in and they’re always later then what they say they’re going to be.”
He sighed, “Kerr, its fine, okay?” He started walking backwards, “I’ll see you after school and we’ll work out the details then.”
He grinned, “Cool.”
He fought down the urge to roll his eyes and turned just as the warning bell for class sounded, only to find that Jared was long gone.
Jensen tapped the side of his ice tea with his fingertip and sighed. He would be so happy when the stats article for the school paper would be finished and he could go back to having more time with Jared. And it wasn’t just because he really didn’t believe that the majority of the student body would give a damn about which student had improved the most over the last semester or which student had the best grade in which class or which student had dragged his or her sorry ass to class everyday or any of the other lame stats that the administration foolishly believed would motivate the student body to work harder. It had more to do with all the extra time he had to spend working with Kerr and missing out with Jared, the guilt that ate at him every time he had to break a date with Jared or tell him that he didn’t have time for him.
He knew that it was taking a toll on their relationship, especially with Jared’s idiotic insecurity and his thinly veiled accusations that Jensen was cheating on him with Kerr. Last Sunday when he had managed to convince Jared to spend the afternoon with him at his place only proved that. The bite that Jared had left on his shoulder blade and insistence that Jensen be on his side, for the first time ever, testament to that. Everyone knew the myth that angry sex was awesome but the truth was it wasn’t nearly so.
He sighed again and forced himself to pick up the menu lying in front of him. The sooner he picked something to eat the faster he and Kerr could get out of there, go back to Jensen’s and finish the article. Then he would be free to try to make up all the time he had missed with Jared and he could start tomorrow, Friday, typical date night. It was so cliché that Jared would love the humor in it.
Nothing on the menu appealed to him, he knew he should eat, he and Kerr had been at the school until 7:00pm but he wasn’t really hungry. If it hadn’t been at Kerr’s insistence, earlier that day, that if they worked late again that they should go somewhere and eat, he’d still be at the school trying to get the article done. Finally he gave up all pretence of caring about food and looked over to the hallway leading to the bathrooms.
Jesus Kerr’s worse for preening then the girls. He thought snidely but it was the truth, even Sandy, who was the worse of his female friends for wanting to look just perfect, would already be out and ready for anything by now.
Jensen shook his head in frustration and let his eyes wander around the diner. It was actually fairly quiet for a Thursday night but it was also the beginning of a new semester and the teachers seemed to like to pile shit on at the beginning so he wasn’t really surprised. But it made his wait for Kerr to come back all the more dull, at least if there had been more people he could waste time making up stories about them in his head.
Just as he was about to turn back to the menu and start reading that again, he spotted Chad and the new transfer, Justin Hartley from Jensen’s English class, in the far corner from him. He was kind of surprised to see Chad with the new guy, generally Chad didn’t socialize outside of their usual group of friends but he guessed that didn’t mean that he wouldn’t. He grinned to himself, maybe Chad had decided to switch teams, from what Jensen could see the kid was good enough looking, with spiky blond hair and blue eyes. He wasn’t Jared but no one was Jared.
He reached for his cell, he had already texted Jared a couple times and hadn’t received an answer but maybe this would illicit some response from his pissed off boyfriend, but just as his fingers brushed it in his jacket pocket, Chad sprang up from his chair and started waving like an idiot.
Jensen’s breath caught in his throat and he turned his head to watch Jared walk over to Chad, dimples on display because of his wide grin. It hurt Jensen to see him look happy; he hadn’t seen that look on display for him for weeks.
He wanted to call out but the irrational fear that just because they were in the same room didn’t mean that Jared wouldn’t ignore his voice anymore than he had his texts. Instead he watched him take a seat beside the new kid and grin at him before shaking his hand.
It was petty but suddenly he wanted to jump up and stalk over there. Force Jared to deal with him, talk and look at him the way he used to. Or at the very least, make him as miserable as Jensen was himself.
Instead, he looked back down at the menu and tried to ignore the urge.
“Sorry about that.”
He glanced back up intending to focus on Kerr but his eyes automatically searched out Jared, who finally seemed to have noticed him, if the glare being levelled his way was anything to go by.
He tried to smile apologetically at his boyfriend but Jared just shook his head minutely before turning back to smile at Justin. It was then that he noticed that Chad was no longer sitting with them and Jared’s chair wasn’t where it had been when he had first watched him sit down, now it was closer, too close, to Justin’s.
What the hell?
He tore his eyes away from watching Jared leaning into Justin and still smiling and raised an inquiring eyebrow across the small booth at Kerr.
“Are you okay? You went kind of pale.”
I don’t know. He swallowed and couldn’t stop his eyes from flickering to the opposite corner again. “Uhh, I...” he forced his eyes back to Kerr. “Huh, I don’t really have an answer.”
Kerr’s brows furrowed before he turned in his seat to see what had been attracting Jensen’s attention. “Shit.” He spun back around, “I’m sorry Jensen. It never even occurred to me that your ex would be here.”
Jensen froze in the process of looking back towards Jared and Justin and his eyes snapped back to Kerr. “Wh...What?”
Kerr was shifting uncomfortably in his seat, his hands fidgeting with an unopened creamer. “It’s all over the school about how you two split up. I guess anytime anyone mentions you around Jared, he snarls and growls before storming off.”
His whole body had gone numb and he couldn’t seem to get enough air in his lungs. He and Jared had split up? More to the point, Jared had broken up with him and hadn’t even bothered to tell him? In a sick and twisted way it explained what had gone down the Sunday before, how Jared barely spoke to him, wouldn’t kiss him at all except for when he left to go home and that had been chaste.
He swallowed, trying to force the metallic taste out of his throat. Fucking bastard! His mind couldn’t shake the memory of the last time they had been together, how a part of him had liked that Jared had bit him, marked him as his but now he felt like it had been Jared’s final fuck you. He snorted in disgust, right along with Jared fucking him one last time.
His whole body tensed and he started to shift out of his chair. If Jared really thought that he could just fuck him and then walk out on their relationship without even having the decency to tell him first, he had another thing coming, the other being Jensen’s fist.
“I guess this date is a bust huh?”
Kerr’s words broke through the haze clouding his mind and he fell back into his seat. “I’m sorry?”
He shrugged, “I know it was kind of soon but I like you Jensen and we get along so well I was kind of thinking...” Kerr blushed, bit his lip and shrugged.
Jensen’s mind could process what was going on. Jared had broken up with him and Kerr had asked him on a date and he had missed both happening? He glanced back over at Jared and Justin to find Justin’s hand resting on Jared’s forearm on the table. It was like there were shards of glass embedded in his heart, every beat more painful than the last. Apparently he had.
Fine, Jared wanted to behave like he had meant nothing to him then Jensen could do the same to him. The only difference being that Jensen would be acting, he didn’t believe Jared was.
He forced himself to smile back at Kerr, “No, don’t apologize. It’s okay. I just wasn’t expecting Jared to be here.”
He clenched his hands into fists under the table before concentrating enough to relax his right hand and brought it up to touch Kerr’s wrist. “Really, it’s okay.”
Kerr brightened, “Yeah?”
No! No, no, no, no. He ignored his own voice screaming in his head and watched Jared lean closer and whisper something in Justin’s ear. “Yeah”
He let Kerr twist his wrist out of Jensen’s light grasp and tangle their fingers together. “Let’s get out of here. I’m really not hungry anymore, you?”
He felt like he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Either he could sit there and watch Jared make the moves on someone else or he could get up and see where this farce of a date went. He glanced quickly over at Jared and had to swallow down the growl at how close he was to Justin now. It was definitely time to leave.
“Yeah” He managed a small smile, ignored the pain in his heart and the guilt for letting Kerr believe this was a real date, twisting in his stomach. “Yeah, let’s get out of here.”
There were chatters down the hall just surrounding Jared like he was somebody super important. Apparently at James Madison rumors and the juiciest gossip spread like wild fire to the whole campus, even to the teachers. He might have blurted out to Chad that he and Jensen were no longer a couple due to Kerr Smith, which made it sound like Jensen had been cheating the whole time. More than likely the whole gossip community saw to it that the whole school should know the golden couple was no longer in it 'til the end. Jared hated to dwell on the fact that he basically broke up with his boyfriend without letting him know first. It probably made him douchier than Chad, who knew it could be possible?
There were endless amounts of people just flapping their jaw about how Jensen didn't seem like the 'type' to cheat. Jared didn't exactly think of him as a cheater either but why else would Jensen spend so much time with Kerr Smith? The stupid article wasn't that big of a deal, yet Jensen found it so important to cancel several of their dates because Principal Morgan was on their asses. Jared just couldn't believe that was what was really going on.
“Jared!” He glanced up from working the combination lock on his locker at Sandy’s yell, not surprised to find her marching towards him, determination in her stride.
Great he groaned silently, he had really been hoping that he could at least make it until lunch before his friends started hunting him down, wanting an explanation as to what had happened between him and Jensen. Or more to the point, what he had done to split them up but apparently he wasn’t that lucky.
“Sands,” he groaned just loud enough for her to be able to hear him. “I really don’t...”
The world tilted on its axis and he registered the loud metallic bang as his back collided with his locker before his mind could catch up and start howling in pain now that his lock was digging painfully into the small of his back.
“You fucking asshole.”
He was pretty sure he had never seen Jensen so livid before, his usual bright green eyes were dark with rage and he was vibrating so violently that, for a brief moment, Jared was pretty sure his over shirt was going to end up being torn. But then the image of Jensen and Kerr walking out of Krip’s together the night before, Kerr’s hand on the small of Jensen’s back, like it belonged there, flashed through his mind and his own anger boiled over.
“Me?” He snarled back, grabbed Jensen’s wrists and tugged until he was free. “I’m pretty sure you should check a mirror Ackles.”
Jensen snorted, “I’m sorry did I break up with you without telling you? Oh no, wait. That was you.”
Jared was kind of surprised, yes news, especially juicy news, travelled fast through the school’s gossip mongers but Jensen usually didn’t listen to it. He figured he’d have until the end of the day before his boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, started hunting him down. Obviously he had been mistaken but then again, he had been mistaken about a lot of things recently.
“Well I would have told you in person but seeing as you’re always too busy with Kerr to make time for me what could I do?” He sneered at him, “Besides it appears that you’ve heard.”
“You are a selfish fucking asshole Jared.” He pointed at him with one vibrating finger, “Not to mention insecure and paranoid.”
Maybe he was an asshole and maybe he was selfish but he wasn’t insecure and he wasn’t paranoid considering what he had seen the night before. “How am I paranoid?” He yelled, “I’m pretty sure you have to believe something that isn’t true to be paranoid and I fucking know what I saw last night.”
There was a group of people surrounding them now, not that he was surprised, it was mid-morning and in-between classes, he could see people gawking at them from the corners of his eyes and from behind Jensen but he didn’t bother acknowledging them.
“What you saw? What you saw.” He crossed his arms over his chest and barred his teeth. “Well congrats Jared for letting your imagination run wild yet again. Though I’m impressed, I didn’t think you could multi-task so well considering how cozy you and Justin were. I would have thought it would have taken all of your limited ability to try wooing him.”
“Oh fuck you Jensen.” He snarled back and curled his hands into fists. He wasn’t any less intelligent then Jensen, they both were in the advanced program, just not in many of the same classes. But he also knew that his intelligence as a whole wasn’t what Jensen was insulting. “If I suck so bad then what does that say about you? Huh? I’ve never heard a complaint from you for three years.”
Jensen smirked, cruelly, “Maybe I didn’t know any better. I’m just sorry that I had to waste three years of my life before I figured it out.”
“You’re sorry?” He threw back, “What about me? I spent the last three years with a slut. Who in the fuck knows how many STDs you’ve given me.”
The only warning he got was when all the color drained from Jensen’s face and then the lock was digging painfully into his back once more as Jensen’s slammed into him.
“I never cheated on you!” He screamed in his face and pulled him away from the locker to slam him back into it. “I loved you.”
There was a blur of motion out of the corner of his eye and then Steve was pushing between them and forcing Jensen back. If Jensen wanted to fight then he was more than willing to, he was pretty sure he owed him a punch in the face just because of the way his back was screaming in pain. And that was above and beyond the fact that he had used Jared, no matter what he said to the contrary, Chad and Sandy were hanging off his arms, keeping him in place.
“Let me go!” He howled, “I am going to kill him.”
Jared was pretty sure the tears in Jensen’s eyes were his imagination or frustration from being pulled back. Either way it didn’t matter because he was still lying to him, trying to play the pity card in front of everyone. Jensen didn’t love him, probably never had, he was simply convenient until something or someone, better came along.
“Sure you did.” He spat at him, “That’s why you spent more time with Kerr than with me over the last five months.”
“There you go again!” He snarled back, “Drawing conclusions out of your fucked up imagination. I’m the editor of the school paper fucknuts I have to spend time there.”
“Jared! Jensen! Don’t you boys have class?”
Jared turned to find Mr. Collins walking down the hallway, easily slipping through the throng of students still watching them aptly. “In fact I’m sure all of you students have classes you should be attending. Not only did the final bell for class ring five minutes ago but you’re disturbing the teachers that have the misfortune of teaching in the classrooms of this hall.”
He blinked, had it? He hadn’t even heard it but now that Mr. Collins had mentioned it, he noticed that students weren’t the only ones staring at them, peppered among them, were teachers and they were staring just as avidly.
“Sandy, Chad, take Jared that way.” He pointed over his shoulder the way he had come then he motioned in the opposite direction. “Steve take Jensen that way.”
He turned back to shoot one more glare at Jensen but his effort was wasted, Steve was already steering him away.
“The rest of you get to class.”
He let Sandy start to tug him into the milling students trying not to catch his eye but he stopped at Mr. Collins’ suddenly much quieter voice. “The only reason you boys aren’t headed to see Principal Morgan is because I seem to be the only teacher in this school interested in not being involved in a soap opera. But if this happens again, I won’t be so lenient.”
Jared hung his head, not because he actually felt bad, in fact he was pissed off that Mr. Collins had stopped them before fists could start to fly. He wanted to for Jensen to at least physically hurt as much as his heart ached but it didn’t look like that would be happening anytime soon. But he wanted to look suitably grateful for the reprieve and if he had to meet the teacher’s eyes then the facade wouldn’t hold.
“Yes sir.” He muttered low and let his friends drag him away.