One month and a half earlier…
Dean stalked angrily around the perimeter of Bobby’s house, growling softly to himself, fighting with the urge to drive his fist through the wall beside him.
Half hour. He had missed Sam’s latest call to Bobby by a fucking half hour.
“Mother fucking son of a bitch.” He snarled and threw himself back against the house.
He glared out at the hulks of slowly rusting vehicles in the yard before him, remembering the last time he had felt this kind of impotent rage. Then it had been his inability to deal with his father’s death, with the suspicion that he was somehow to blame for it and his beloved Impala had paid for his anger. Now though that seemed so much less important, so much less worth getting that angry over. Nowhere near as upsetting or frustrating as the circumstances he now found himself mired in.
“God damn it Sam!” He hissed low and thumped the back of head against the wall.
He was angry, beyond furious but he couldn’t blame it on his brother, not really. He couldn’t even blame Bobby for it, he wanted to, wanted to depend on the older man’s power of persuasion to convince his little brother to come to them. Time and time again the older hunter had somehow managed to convince their father to do something or stop him from doing something but he kept falling short where Sam was concerned. But even his lack of success wasn’t what had sent Dean into his rage.
When it was all said and done he was furious with himself. He was the one who had failed to protect Sam, managed to drive him away. And the guilt and the fear were slowly driving him insane.
He was certain that if he could catch his brother on the phone, could talk to him that the younger Winchester would be able to hear how sorry he was. Would be able to tell just how badly Dean needed him to come back. How much he realized, too late, that he wanted their little girl just as much as Sam did.
Hell he had spent weeks helping Bobby research a way around their predicament, a way to make sure that both Sam and their baby would survive, whole and intact. He was committed to see this whole thing through if Sam would simply give him a chance to prove it.
He would tell Sam of the plans he had made, discussions he had had with Bobby once everything had come into the open that first night the older man had succeeded in getting him blind drunk. How he had figured out how they could keep hunting but still stay safe. About the cleared-out half acre at the back of the salvage yard that Bobby offered to help them build a house on. They could have a home base and Bobby would watch their little girl for them when they had to go on a hunt. How he would work for the older man so that he was always near-by and Sam, hell Sam could go back to school if he wanted. Maybe not Stanford since they were both now wanted by the FBI but he could go back or take courses online.
Dean would do anything to get Sam back, get his little girl back, even quit hunting if that’s what it took. But he needed to be able to tell his brother that and he wouldn’t be able to do that if he kept missing his calls.
He heard the squeak of the screen door but didn’t bother to tear his eyes away from the yard. He knew he wasn’t mad at Bobby but didn’t trust that he wouldn’t snarl at the older man all the same and he didn’t deserve that.
“You ‘bout done out here?”
He narrowed his eyes and clenched his jaw.
“Dean Michael. I asked you a question.”
“Not particularly.” He grumbled back.
A huff of a sigh carried to him on the late afternoon breeze. “You’ve got to give him time Dean.”
“There isn’t much time left to give!” He snarled and stalked towards the porch. “I’ve worked it out as best as I can. Sam was possessed roughly two months before we did that job with the crossroads demon. Which means he’s anywhere from seven to eight months pregnant!”
“This I know.”
Bobby seemed to remain calm but Dean wasn’t foolish enough to jump up the stairs, drag him from the door to the porch and shake him like he wanted to. But it bothered him that the older man seemed to be taking everything in stride, like at any moment he would be able to materialize Sam to him.
“He can’t be out there on his own damn it!”
“He swears he’s not Dean.”
“And that’s another thing, between the two of us we have been in contact with everybody he could possibly know in the hunting community and nobody knows where he is.” He paced back and forth in front of the stairs, little puffs of dirt swirling up to emphasise his irritation. “Somebody’s lying to us Bobby and it pisses me off!”
“Why do you think it’s someone in the community he’s taken refuge with?”
Dean skidded to a halt and glared up at the older man like he had lost his mind. “Who else could it possibly be? No civilian could handle this type of thing. No if it wasn’t someone in the community Sam would be all over the news as some medical freak.”
Bobby leaned against the door jam and scratched his chin. “What about one of his friends back at Stanford? There was that one that you met during that job in St. Louise.”
Shit he hadn’t even considered Becky or for that matter her brother. Would either of them take Sam in considering his condition? He felt indignation rise up to choke him, they damn well better considering it had been that case that had helped to land his squarely on the FBI’s most wanted. Maybe they knew a doctor that would help Sam and keep his mouth shut.
A doctor was the one thing that Dean couldn’t offer his brother so for that reason alone he was almost tempted to hope that’s where he was.
But he didn’t think Sam would risk them with this, knowing about the supernatural, experiencing it first hand didn’t automatically mean that he would throw them into a mess with a demon. Matter of fact that would be the first reason his brother wouldn’t go to them, because they had tangled with something outside the norm and in their experience most civilians who didn’t automatically try to forget what they knew existed seemed to think they could take anything on. It made them over confident that they had survived and for whatever reason seemed to think they could survive anything or get in touch with someone to get them out of a jam.
Unfortunately for people like that, by the time someone with the right training showed up it was too late for anything other than clean up. “Probably not.”
Bobby stared hard at him, “Sure enough not to go check things out.”
Dean opened his mouth to answer that he was damn sure but snapped it shut without speaking. What if it had been him? What if he knew people outside of the hunting community that he could stay with? Would he take the risk? Would Sam?
He wanted to say no, had just thought of all the reasons why he would say no but if he was desperate? Scared?
“I think you’d better go take a little trip out there don’t you?”
Dean sighed, it was going to be a wasted trip, knew it was going to be a wasted trip. But still it was something he could do, a destination clearer than just running from little Podunk town to Podunk town.
“Dinner will be on the table in ten minutes. Eat first.”
One month earlier…
He came awake to the feeling of warm, wet heat surrounding his cock and Jesus it felt good. It had been too long since there had been anything other than his right hand.
Sam groaned softly and curled his hands into the sheet beneath him. How could he have forgotten how good Dean was at giving head? And why the hell had he not been enjoying the pleasures his brother knew how to give him for so long?
Suddenly the cobwebs in his mind cleared out. Because he had left his brother in an easily forgotten little town months before.
He threw the sheet off himself and stared down momentarily shocked at the sight of Jo nestled between his legs.
He grabbed her shoulders and forced her off of him.
“Jo what the hell?” He demanded as he rolled off the bed and searched the floor frantically for his discarded boxers.
“Looking for these?” She purred, swinging his boxers from one finger.
He snatched them from her and backed away, pushing up against the closed bedroom door before pulling them on as quickly as his new ungainly body would allow him.
To him it had seemed almost like one minute he had been sporting a small bump and the next he had a definite baby bulge. The suddenness of it had thrown him off balance, never one to be particularly graceful now he felt like an ungainly teenager all over again, trying to get used to his centre of gravity completely out of whack.
“Oh come on Sam you don’t think I haven’t heard you at night?” She grinned as she crawled off the bed. “Revved up sex drive is a well known fact for pregnant women and I’d dare say it’s the same for you. I simply figured that you’d be horny and hell I’m horny so why not do something about it.”
“Jo that has come and gone.” He managed to keep his voice calm even if he was mortified. She had heard him jerking off? But if she had heard him did that also mean she had heard what he was prone to saying? Thoughts about Dean got him off and as he had come to realize the first time he had felt the need to get off thanks to his hormone enhanced sex drive that those thoughts were the only ones that would work for him anymore. He knew that occasionally he would speak out loud when he came and he knew it was Dean’s name that would be said.
She slowly sashayed towards him, “Don’t be embarrassed Sam. You know that bed squeaks. It doesn’t bother me, turns me on actually. You don’t know how many nights I laid in bed listening to those springs, getting hot knowing what you were doing.”
Jo stilled in front of him and ran the tips of the fingers of one hand up his naked chest while grabbing his hip with the other. “Got me so hot. So wet.”
He grabbed her wrists and pushed her back a step. “Jo stop.” He demanded while giving her a small shake.
“Come on Sam I know you want me. You told me so that one time at the bar I was working at.”
He peered down at her in the pale moonlight coming through the crack in the curtains at the window. He had never told her any such thing, would have remembered if he had. Oh would he have? There was only one time he could think of that he only had vague, confusing flashes of a week’s worth of time.
“Jo I was possessed. You can’t take anything I said at that time as fact.” He pressed softly.
“Demon’s tell the truth when they think it will hurt you more. But it doesn’t hurt Sam. I like it. If you want to know the truth it was always you, not your brother.”
Sam twisted them around, took both her wrists in one of his hands and opened the bedroom door with the other. “I don’t know what’s gotten in to you.” He started softly as he began to back her out of the room.
“But how about you go sleep it off and in the morning we’ll forgot this ever happened.”
“A night’s sleep won’t change anything. You want it. I want it.”
He shook his head as he released her just outside of his room. “No I don’t nor do you.”
She smiled and winked at him. “Just know the offers out there Sam.”
“Goodnight Jo.” He growled before he shut the door on her grinning face.
He leaned back against the door and listened silently until he heard her move towards her own room.
He released a sigh and rubbed his face vigorously with shaking hands.
Should that go into the “Jo is not acting like Jo” column or Jo has taken some serious drugs at work tonight column? He wondered silently.
As he heard the click of her bedroom door closing he began to ponder what was the more practical solution for him now. Should he stay with Jo or cry uncle and call for Bobby?
He sighed in dejection, there was no simple answer and no way in hell he was getting any more sleep tonight.
Three weeks earlier…
Over the last few weeks Dean had grown to respect Bobby more and more. From taking the information that he and Sam were lovers in stride, to offering a chunk of his land to them, to calling in a favour to make sure that they had a house to call their own, the man never failed to amaze. And that was without factoring in his immense knowledge of the supernatural.
He shook his head in wonderment as he leaned back against the windshield of the truck he had been using to go between Bobby’s house to the plot where his and Sam’s house was slowly taking shape as he watched the foreman and his friend talk while other workers continued building the modular home that had been secured for them.
He had seen the plans for the house, already knew that it was a single level four bedroom home that would be more than enough room for the three of them but it was one thing looking at one dimensional plans to seeing it slowly taking shape in front of him.
Dean grinned to himself, it may not have a white picket fence and it may be nowhere near any suburbs but he was pretty confident that Sam was going to love it. Suddenly the smile faded, at least he hoped he would since he refused to even speak to him and the elder Winchester had been there when his brother had called Bobby the last time.
It scared the hell out of him that Sam wouldn’t even give him the time of day and if he was going to be honest, at least to himself, he was beginning to believe that he had fucked up their relationship beyond repair.
He watched a couple of the workers carefully inset the big bay window as he chewed on the inside of his cheek. This was for Sam and Maija and they would have this even if they wouldn’t have him. If the only thing he could do for his lover and daughter was leave and swear to never come back so that they could have this then he would. It would kill him and he didn’t for a minute delude himself into thinking he would last longer than six months banished from their lives but he would do it.
He swallowed down the tears threatening as he watched Bobby walk back towards him, grinning.
“So?” He managed, keeping his tone light.
“That’s the thing about modular homes and people owing you favours. Everything moves much faster that way.”
Dean glanced between his friend and the house going up before his eyes. “Sure there’s fast and then there’s fast. If I didn’t know better I’d say there’s something supernatural about this whole thing.”
“Nah.” Bobby grinned, “Like I said I was owed. See the guy that generously donated this house, well his son got himself into a bit of a spot a few years back. Kid wanted to make a name for himself at school. Figured the best way to do that was join a coven of wannabe Satanists. Problem was not all of them were wannabes and they starting messing with things they shouldn’t have. Long story short I saved his kid’s life, his name stay out of the papers and his kid stayed out of jail. Now when you owe someone a debt like that not only do you make sure that when a house is needed it’s got but it’s also top priority for the company putting it up.”
He chuckled, “Jesus and I thought you were being ruthless when you pointed a shotgun at my dad.”
“That my boy was nothing. I’ve got hidden depths like you wouldn’t believe.”
“I’m beginning to understand that.”
Bobby laughed outright, “Get you ass off the truck we gotta make a trip into town.”
Dean slid down and moved towards the passenger door. “For what?”
“Boy you’re going to need furniture soon. They figure they’ll be done next week so we’ll go see if we can find anything you boys might like and arrange to have it delivered at the end of next week beginning of the following at the latest.”
“Bobby I don’t have enough money stashed away for that yet.” He admitted softly as he climbed in.
The older man snorted, “You just don’t get it do you?”
He stared silently back wondering if Bobby was hinting what he was worried he was hinting.
“Don’t look at me like that.” He chided good-naturedly, “I’ve got more money than I need. Hell I’ve even got money the government don’t know nothing about.”
“Bobby I can’t accept it. I feel bad enough accepting what I have.”
He waved a hand as he started the truck. “I don’t have any family of my own Dean. Least not family I care to think about. You, Sam and that little girl of yours,” he pulled his hat off and scratched his head while he stared out the windshield, a pale pink starting to colour his features.
“Look your what I’ve got and I take care of mine.” He pulled his cap back on and started the truck moving.
“I…I’m not good at stuff like this.” Dean replied after a moment of silence. “This kind of stuff is more Sam’s department. But thanks Bobby. Thanks…”
The older hunter cut him off, “Shut it boy. You don’t do chick flick moments nor do I.”
They fell into an easy silence as the truck bounced gently across the property heading towards the drive.
Just as they turned out onto the gravel road Bobby broke the silence gruffly, “You’re welcome.”
Two weeks earlier…
Sam groaned softly as he slowly paced the living room. “This sucks.” He growled low, as he made a slow turn on swollen feet and tottered back towards the couch. Everything had seemed to come on so quickly in a short span of time. First was the swelling, everywhere, his feet were puffy, hands, face, he would pretty much guarantee even his ass looked like a marshmallow. Then came the constant pain in his lower back, that even trying alternating between heat and cold could touch. Then finally a couple nights earlier his legs started to bother him, waking him up in the middle of the night, tingling like his system had just flooded with adrenaline and there was nothing he could do but wait it out before he could settle back in bed and catch a few more hours of sleep.
Carefully he lowered himself down onto the couch but still managed to twist his back sending a spike of pain through him. “Jesus.” He groaned but quickly stilled when he heard noise coming from down the hall.
He sat completely still ignoring the screaming of his back or the tingling in his legs until he was satisfied that Jo had simply been moving in her sleep. He sighed as he shook his head and settled back on the couch.
The last couple of weeks had been hell, the easy camaraderie they had had for months had been completely destroyed after her late night visit to his room. The only saving grace was that she had pretty much stayed clear of him now and when they happened to run into one another nothing had been said about that night. It was bad enough thinking about it, he really had no desire to hash it out with her.
He groaned in frustration as his lower back twinge again and wondered if maybe he shouldn’t just break down and go find a pain killer. He knew he was late enough in his pregnancy that a regular strength Tylenol shouldn’t cause any problems but he couldn’t help but worry.
Alternate heat and cold and if you can convince your partners, ladies, a good back massage does wonders.
That had been the best advice he had found on the websites for pregnancy and so far the advice he could follow, hot and then cold compresses, had done little to alleviate the pain. But a massage he could totally get behind the idea of that, the thought of strong hands working over his tense muscles almost had him salivating. Until the daydream was shatter by the fact that the only person around that could help him was Jo and there was no way in hell he was allowing her anywhere near any bare part of his body.
Dean would be wonderful at that. He allowed the thought, remembering the classes their father had insisted they both take.
Not for the first time he began to question why he didn’t just swallow his pride and take Bobby up on his offer. Granted it was one of the truly selfish times because his brother was really good at giving massages. But if he hadn’t packed it in all the times Jo had made him uncomfortable and that was before that fateful night, he wasn’t going to do so now just cause of a little backache.
A backache that never seemed to quit but a backache all the same.
His back gave a particularly sharp twinge that forced him back up onto his feet.
“Hate this.” He hissed as he moved back down the hall to his room.
“This had better be fucking important.” Dean slurred as he rolled over and slapped his hand down on his nightstand, searching for his cell jingling merrily away.
Finally his fingers brushed against and he grabbed it, flipped it open and brought to his ear in a moment more fluid than it should have been for having been woken up in the middle of the night.
He could hear breathing but other than that silence was his only answer.
“Hello?” He muttered a little louder and sat up. He peered over at the digital clock on the nightstand and didn’t bother to stop the huff of annoyance at being woken at four twenty-eight in the morning.
Who, that could possibly have his number, would call in the middle of the night and then not say anything? Wait.
A hitch of the breathing on the other end of the line gave him his answer.
“Sammy? Baby please say something.”
The hair on the back of his neck stood on end once he realized that Sam’s breathing became erratic.
“Sam? What is it? Are you okay? Tell me where you are and I’ll leave right now to come get you.”
“I…I can’t do this right now.”
The relief of hearing his brother’s voice was short lived as soon as it occurred to him what his brother was probably talking about.
“No Sam! Don’t hang up please!” He begged and paused expecting a click that never came.
Heartened that at least he was being heard he quickly continued. “You know I’m not good at this but I’m sorry Sam. I’m so, so sorry. I lied to you and to myself. I want Maija, I always did but I was scared Sam. I still am. I’m worried what could happen to you. What she could become. But I never meant for you to feel you had to leave. Please tell me where you are.”
“Dean.” His brother cried softly.
The soft sound of the call being severed made him want to throe the cell against the far wall but he forced his body still. Instead he managed a deep breath and slowly pulled the phone from his ear, shutting it without looking at it, knowing that wherever Sam was calling from, the number was unlisted or blocked.
“Shit.” He breathed and had to fight down the urge once again to hurl the cell from him.