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Shadow Lane: A Winchester Obsession
Fic: Oreo Cookies Suck 
3rd-Nov-2010 07:27 pm
Jared/Jensen 2
Title: Oreo Cookies Suck
Pairing/Characters: Jensen/Jared
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: 4.01 Lazuras Rising
Word Count: 1,108
Disclaimer: Jensen and Jared own themselves, I'm not even sure I own my 2 cats or my 2 dogs or if they own me.
Summary: Jensen was happy that Dean was going to be back from hell but pushing up through a layer of Oreo cookie crumbs, not so much.

A/N: Written for [info]spn_30snapshots  for my mininano table - Meant to Be - Hiding in Plain Sight.  Prompt #18 (Taste)
Not beta'd.


When Jensen had answered the door of his and Jared’s house one week before they were due on set to start shooting season four to sign for the scripts for the first episode of the season, he could admit it was with a little trepidation. Eric had been teasing the fans since the end of season three that Dean wouldn’t be in the first couple episodes of season four because he would be too busy “playing” in hell and Jensen could admit that it had been getting to him too. Sure, in theory is sounded good not to have to be at work for a couple extra weeks but Jensen wanted to be there and not just standing and watching from the sidelines. He wanted to work, he wanted to play Dean, he kind of missed Dean and his fucked up psyche and closed down ways.

So he was pretty happy to see that Dean was in the first episode and wasn’t in hell. He kind of wonder exactly how they were going to film him climbing out of his own grave but he wasn’t too worried about it. Because Dean wasn’t in hell and Jensen wasn’t going to get stuck hanging in the harness with fake hooks glued to his skin. It might have looked really good for the last scene of the final episode of season three but it had played hell on his body, hanging like that.

First day back on set, everyone sitting around the table in the production office listening to Todd, the head of the effects department, explain their plan for Dean to climb out of his grave and Jensen was a little hesitant.

“Oreo cookie crumbs.” Todd was smiling like this idea was the most brilliant idea ever. “We’ll have to add some digital effects after but I’m thinking just straight cookie crumbs. That way there is no dust or dirt to aggravate your eyes or nose Jensen and it’ll be easy to climb through.”

Jensen wasn’t too sure about the whole “no dust or dirt” bit but he kept his mouth shut after all it would be better than trying to push through a foot of dirt. But still, cookie crumbs were going to have sharp little edges but then he had signed up to do his own stunts so he wasn’t going to start bitching now.


When the time came it wasn’t awesome. In fact the fucking crumbs got everywhere. They were down his pants, inside his shirt, up his nose, in his boots and inside his ears. It was uncomfortable, he had been right, they did have sharp little corners and after having to redo the scene four times, the pieces were sticking to his skin and making him itchy.

Fighting off the need to scratch through his hair and his face to try to get rid of some of the sticky feeling, make-up would kill him; he stood beside his dug up “grave” and watched Eric while he spoke in quiet tones with Bob.

Swear to God. They want to go again and I’m calling a break. Curling his twitching fingers into his palms to hold off scratching, he grit his teeth. Truth of the matter was, he wouldn’t call break, he’d smile and nod and climb back into the hole and let Todd and his boys pour more of the stupid crumbs over his head.

He was never eating another Oreo again.

“Okay.” Eric glanced over and smiled at him. “I think we got it Jensen.”

He didn’t fist pump but it was a close thing, “Good. So I’m just going to…”

There was no way to stop the startled yelp when arms wrapped around his middle and a warm tongue swiped over the back of his neck.

“Mmm Jensen cookie.”

The crew was laughing and Jensen could see Eric’s eyes twinkling from where he stood and he couldn’t decide if he was happy that Jared had shown up on the sly or freaked out because of what he had just done. They were supposed to be keeping this thing between them between them and Jared pulling Jensen against his chest and licking his neck was pretty much like flashing a neon sign pointing out that things had changed between them.

“Nom, nom, nom.” Jared murmured and licked across his neck again.

“Jared!” He yelped and struggled to get free.

“I’m going to sell you on Ebay.” Jared laughed as he released him and walked to stand in front of Jensen. “What do you think I could get for a Cookie Jensen on Ebay Eric?” He glanced over is shoulder towards their boss.

“Dunno. But I expect half of the profits.”

Jared turned back and grinned at Jensen, “Nah I think I’ll keep you all to myself.”

Jensen snorted, heart pounding certain that everyone now knew but as he shot a quick look around them, there was no one staring at them or even taking any notice any longer. With a shake of his head, he glanced around Jared who was still staring down at him and looked to Eric. “We done? I would really like a shower.”

“Yeah, go. Get cleaned up, have lunch and we’ll start Dean’s trek to the gas station scene in an hour.”

With a wave of his hand, Jensen spun and started walking in the opposite direction, Jared falling into step beside him.

“What was that?” He asked, keeping his voice low, just in case.

“What what?”

“The whole licking me thing.” Jensen glanced from the corner of his eye to see Jared grin. “Are you trying to out us?”

He expected Jared to look contrite not for him to burst out laughing.

“This isn’t funny.”

“If I hadn’t done it then people would wonder what was going on. Doing it? That’s just normal me behavior.”

Jensen sucked his bottom lip into his mouth briefly before letting it go as soon as the taste of Oreo cookie hit him. Never eating another one of those again. Jared was right, he knew that but every time he thought about them getting caught it always came down to what it would do to Jared’s career.

“Had I stripped you and used my tongue to clean you on the other hand.” Jared mused and slug his arm over Jensen’s shoulders, “That probably would have outed us.”

Jensen’s mind stalled out and it took a second before he could speak. “Y…yeah that probably would have.”

“Guess it’s a good thing I’m saving that till we get to your trailer than.” 

Maybe cookie crumbs as grave dirt wasn’t such a bad idea after all.  

4th-Nov-2010 01:42 am (UTC)
That was great. I like Jared's idea but that would have definitely outed them lOL!
8th-Nov-2010 12:06 am (UTC)
Totally...sweet :)
13th-Dec-2010 06:19 pm (UTC)
13th-Dec-2010 06:21 pm (UTC)
But imagine the hits on youtube. ;)
30th-Dec-2010 12:22 pm (UTC)
Yes & the $ they would make selling the video
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