I Miss Being Five
“What are you doing Jen?”
Jensen froze in the process of bringing his right leg up to the third riser and shut his eyes in mortification. He could well imagining the image he was presenting to Jared, crawling up the stairs like he was three sheets to the wind at, he glanced at his watch, 8:05 in the morning.
“Are you hurt?”
It suddenly occurred to him that his leg was still hanging in the air, he slowly lowered it as he answered softly. “No.”
Jared chuckled, “Okay then what are you doing?”
“Already told you nothing.”
“Yeah, not really buying that. Wanna try again?”
He opened his eyes and glared down at the stair between his spread hands. Why? Why had he given into such a childish urge? Generally it was Jared that came up with ideas like these, not him. But something, some undeniable impulse, had taken a hold of him as he had headed towards the stairs that morning after coming down to check to make sure that his boyfriend had remembered to start a fresh pot of coffee before going for his shower and he just couldn’t help himself.
It had started as a flash of a memory from childhood of him and Josh racing up the stairs on their hands and knees in their parent’s home and the idea had taken root. It was just something that had to be done, he needed to know if he could still do it, almost like he had to prove to himself that being thirty didn’t mean getting old but simply older while still managing to maintain his childish sense of adventure. His granddaddy always said that you were only as old as you felt. If somewhere you could keep that little boy alive inside yourself then you would never truly be old. And that that had led to this.
Or at least that’s what he was going to keep telling himself.
“Babe I’m not asking for an in-depth explanation for Quantum physics here.” The laughter in Jared’s voice was painfully evident and a flare of embarrassment heated Jensen’s body, turning his cheeks pink.
Jared laughing at him was in no way conductive for him to try to explain what had been going through his head when this had all started. In fact it was a serious motivating factor in considering banging his head repeatedly against the riser directly in front of his nose, if only in the hopes that he would lose his short-term memory and forget this whole screwed up situation.
Which in fact wouldn’t be so screwed up if Jared hadn’t gotten back early from walking the dogs. His internal voice reminded him and he grabbed at the weak excuse with what was left of his tattered dignity.
“What are you doing home early anyway?”
“Harley’s still suffering from eating that scented candle yesterday. He was lagging pretty badly so I brought them home and left them in the backyard so that Sadie could burn off some energy and if Harley’s gonna be sick again he can do it outside.”
He heard the scuff of a shoe on the hardwood and then felt something brush against his leg as Jared settled down on the bottom stair.
He felt a shoulder nudge his thigh, “There is no way I’m letting this go Jen so you might as well fess up now.”
There was no way he could tell his boyfriend the truth, he’d never live it down. “Looking for a contact?”
Jensen cringed at just how badly that had come out but still couldn’t help but hope that it would suffice.
“One, you’ve never come downstairs carrying your contacts unless they’re in their case. And two,” he paused for a minute as if considering and Jensen hoped that meant that maybe it had finally occurred to Jared that he just didn’t want to discuss this and was willing to let it go.
“Well I guess you could have gone and gotten your glasses to look for it. But honestly that’s just not you Jen. I think if you would have lost a contact you would have dropped instantly to try and find it before it gets stepped on or something. So no, don’t buy that either.”
He shut his eyes again, God I know I’ve been a little remiss lately but if you could see Your way clear to turning back time by about a half hour I swear I will mend my ways.
“Oh wait I know!” Jared’s gleeful voice broke through his desperate prayer. “You’re working out some kinky sex game. Please tell me there will be a black, leather collar involved and you’ll be the one wearing it.”
His eyes snapped open and he swiveled his head towards his boyfriend so fast that a muscle in his neck protested. “What? No!”
He watched Jared’s lips turn down in a slight frown but the twitching in them, that he couldn’t stop, and the laughter twinkling in his eyes ruined the effect.
“A guy can hope.” He managed an almost passable pout in his voice before he started grinning again. “Okay well I’m fresh out of ideas so spill.”
Jensen leaned his temple against the riser in front of him, “You’re not gonna let this go are you?”
He watched him shake his shaggy head, “Not a chance.”
He sighed, “You have to swear you won’t tell anyone.”
“Aww Jen this is looking to be some of the best blackmail material in the history of blackmail material.”
“Jared you tell no one or I’ll get you shit faced and you’ll end up with a Prince Albert piercing.”
Both of his hands flew to his crotch, “You wouldn’t dare!”
He smirked into his suddenly pale, pinched face, “I don’t know man. I’ve heard things, supposed to feel pretty good if you’re receiving from a guy with one.”
Jared raised a speculative eyebrow but he didn’t shift his hands away from protecting his crotch. “It’s against the law to do piercings on drunks.”
“One call to Rosenbaum and I’ll have the appointment all set. You know if someone will do something a little questionable that Mike will know him.”
“Son of a bitch.” He growled softly before placing his right hand against his heart. “Fine I swear I’ll tell no one.”
Jensen had been hoping that Jared would have risked it, his desire for blackmail material more intense than his desire to call his bluff and they could have called it a stalemate. Instead now he had no choice but to spill the truth or risk bruising his boyfriend’s ego by leading him to think that he didn’t trust the man’s word.
He took a deep breath, “JoshandIusedtohaveracesupthestairsonourhandsandkneesandIwantedtoknowifIcouldstilldoitnowthatI’mold.”
He shut his eyes and waited for the laughter to start.
Great Jared was the king of running his words together and expecting everyone else to understand but do it to him and suddenly he was Mr. “I need articulation”.
“Don’t make me say it again.” He knew his tone had just dropped to begging but he couldn’t be bothered to feel embarrassed about that when he already had such a huge embarrassment on his hands.
“Say what? All I got from that was blah blah blah.”
He groaned, “I said, Josh and I used to have races up the stairs on our hands and knees and I wanted to know if I could still do it now that I’m old.”
Jared started to chuckle, “Wait. This happened because you think you’re old?”
He glared at him, “I’m 30. I am old.”
His shoulders started to shake in an obvious effort to keep his laughter under control, “Jensen 30 isn’t old.”
“This from the guy who has four years before the big 3-0.” He finally gave into the protesting of his knees and shifted so that he was sitting beside Jared.
Jared shook his head, “Jen, babe, if you want proof that you’re still in top condition just think about what we have to do at work. Jesus how many times in a day do we get thrown into, well damn near, everything and you always bounce up, ready and willing to do it again?”
“That just proves I’m in good physical condition, not that I’m not old.”
He grabbed his chin and gently forced him to keep eye contact. “Not only do you put up with my childish behavior at work, including my dumbass pranks, but most of the time you join in. And you gotta admit that’s not the most mature thing we’ve ever done.”
“Look when you start insisting on wear paisley golf shirts and white loafers all the time or ever than I’ll agree that you’ve gotten old but until then I think you’re young at heart status is safe.”
Jensen allowed a small grin, “I guess I was being kind of stupid.”
“Oh I don’t know,” It was Jared’s turn to smirk, “It gave me some pretty good ideas. Do you think Mike would know someone discreet enough to get us that collar or should we just order one on online and wait the four to six weeks?”
A/N 2: Continues in Collared
and Ebb And Flow
- both of which are the beginnings of a D/S relationship for the boys.