I Had The Best Of Intentions
It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
He was the geeky younger brother, who knew to glean the information he needed from whatever book he picked up. When he was younger, before Stanford, dad or Dean would always depend on him to find the information they needed and he never, never, failed them. After losing the normal that was never truly his, it took awhile but eventually Dean learned to depend on him for his geek skills again.
That’s what he was good at, finding answers to obscure questions.
But he had failed when he was needed most of all, he couldn’t break the deal, he couldn’t find a way to save Dean.
So instead he found a way to preserve his body, hell cryogenics wasn’t anything new and even before that, corpses were turning up perfectly preserved under layers of ice.
Perhaps his way was unconventional and maybe there wasn’t a hunter alive or dead, Dad and Dean included, who would have agreed with his plan but fuck them, he wasn’t going to lose his brother, he wasn’t.
It was his contingency plan and he was sticking to it.
It started like this.
Dean leaving him a day behind, taking the Impala and going alone to the closest crossroads to wait out his fate.
It didn’t surprise him, he knew he brother had been planning something. It surprised him even less when Ruby was sitting on Dean’s bed when he woke up that morning. He had yelled that he needed to get to Dean, ‘cause Dean wasn’t the only one who knew where all the roads that eventually merged into crossroads were but Ruby had blocked every attempt he made to leave.
He was tempted to exorcise her sorry ass, send her back to hell and the minions who were waiting to play with her but he had a plan and as much as it gulled him he needed her. So instead he pulled out the half empty bottle of Jack that Dean had left him and the bottle of Tylenol 3 from the first aid kit and got rip roaring drunk in under an hour.
At first she had tried to stop him, figured this was his way of committing suicide and he had laughed so hard that his sides ached. Eventually he had managed to remind her that although Dean had taken the Impala and it’s trunk full of weapons with him, there were still two pistols and three different knives in the room, if he was going to off himself he’d do it a more manly way than with booze and pills. So she had stood back and watched through narrowed eyes while he downed three of the codeine laced pills and chased them with Jack.
The half empty bottle was completely empty an hour and half later and he was passed out fifteen minutes after that.
When he finally came back to coherent consciousness late in the afternoon of the next day he knew his brother was dead, pretty hard not to know when Ruby had gone to fetch his body and had laid it out, wrapped in a sheet, on the bed opposite his.
After he had thrown up what was left in his stomach and probably the first and second lining of his stomach, and to be honest he was sure if that was because of the alcohol poisoning or if it was looking at the blood stained sheet wrapped tightly around his brother, his dead, Oh God I failed him, brother, he sat Ruby down and calmly explained the plan to her.
Predictably the first thing out of her mouth was a no. The second thing was to explain that no one who went to hell would come back right. That something would be twisted within them no matter how little time they had spent in the pit.
Sam had countered by asking her if he seemed twisted.
After a smirk and a suggestive eyebrow she had tossed out that his soul hadn’t been in hell.
Her face had fallen and her answer, when it came, looked like it cost her something, “No.”
The demon that Ruby helped him call up, who knew that she was good for something besides sarcasm and demon killing, was old, almost forgotten except for a brief mention in a book of Pastor Jim’s that Sam had read at thirteen. The unfortunate pizza delivery boy, that had the misfortune of delivering an order to the room beside Sam’s but convenient for the youngest and only remaining Winchester, couldn’t have been much older than nineteen but once the demon took over, his body aged quickly. This demon’s power not only ran a human host’s body ragged but literally sucked the life from it.
It was understandably pissed, first for being summoned like a common lapdog and secondly for Ruby ensuring that it was called into a specific body and within a devil’s trap. It wasn’t going anywhere unless Sam said otherwise.
“I’ll do as you ask if you agree not to send me back to hell.”
“Shut the fuck up Ruby.”
Apparently she did keep her mouth shut if you swore at her, preferring to pout for being snarled at. Sam intended to keep that in mind.
The reason this particular demon had not escaped through the devil’s gate when it had been opened and why it had mostly faded into obscurity was because even the other demons shunned it. After all who wanted to be near something so twisted that it’s idea of fun was freezing whatever it came into contact with? So it had been regulated into a corner of hell that nothing could escape without being summoned and Sam, Sam had summoned it.
Sam had wanted to be the one carry Dean’s body into the trap but Ruby wouldn’t let him. The demon might have agreed to do as Sam asked but demon’s lie and she wasn’t willing to let him take any more chances than he already had.
All it took was for the demon to touch Dean’s body and his brother became a solid block of ice.
Sam unsurprisingly no longer resented Ruby for carrying Dean’s body into the trap.
The minute it was done Ruby started clamouring for Sam to send it back to hell. It started screaming that Sam had promised to set it free.
He had moved over to his duffle and unearthed a small metal canister, something that would have been found in a kitchen containing tea bags, from where he had stashed it three weeks earlier. He hadn’t been stupid, even in his last flurried attempts to break his brother’s deal he had already come up with his contingency plan.
“I swore not to send you back to hell not to set you free.”
It was a bastardized version of a witch’s bottle and a devil’s trap all rolled into one, all that was missing were a couple strands of the possessed boy’s hair and the demon would be trapped in it until Sam decided otherwise.
“And how are you going to get the hair?”
Sam had walked over to the table in the corner of the room and pulled the strands off the top of his father’s journal.
“Damn Sam. I always knew you were the brains of the operation.”
“Shut the fuck up Ruby.”
After trapping the demon in the canister and sealing it with a mix of wax and his own blood, Sam started on the next phase of his plan, waking his dormant powers.
He wasn’t stupid, just because Azazel was dead didn’t stop them from being there just that he no longer had a catalyst for them.
It took a year of reading every book he could lay his hands on, no matter how asinine it seemed, that proclaimed to help waken latent physic abilities, a year of meditation, carting around useless crystals and trying to bend spoons before he finally figured out he needed another catalyst, a catalyst he had had all along.
The war still raged between demons and humans. And as much as Sam had wanted to spend that year doing nothing more than trying to awaken his powers, he split his time by fighting the good fight. It turned out to be a godsend for him, not so much for the smart mouthed lower level demon he was exorcising. It was beaten, knew it was beaten and within a handful of words of being sent back to hell when it attacked with it’s final taunt.
“Your brother’s screams echo throughout hell. It’s your name he curses for failing him”
Dean. Dean had been his catalyst all along.
Turned out he didn’t need Ruby’s demon killing knife to end their existence, just the right mix of his powers, livid rage and the thought of his brother in eternal pain.
In that year after Dean’s death but before Sam’s revelation, he barely saw Ruby after those first couple days. She was too busy sulking because he refused to exorcise the demon in the canister still being hidden in his duffle and although, in the beginning, he had been weaker hunting alone, he was happy she was gone.
She wasn’t Dean and if he was going to have a hunting partner it was going to be Dean or no one. In the end he had gotten better, became the hunter his brother had been and his father had wanted.
Still it didn’t surprise him when his motel room door opened and she was there, glaring at him.
“That kid died a year ago. I thought you had felt bad about that.”
He dropped the unconscious young man to lie in the centre of the devil’s trap and backed out, careful not to disturb any of the lines.
He shrugged, “I want my brother back and I’ll do whatever it takes to get him.”
She slid through the open door, shut it behind her then stilled just outside the trap. “Poor kid. Thought he was gonna get lucky tonight. Probably almost came in his pants when he spotted you in that gay bar, all tall, dark and dangerous and now he’ll be lucky if he survives tonight.”
“Shouldn’t talk to strangers.”
She had glanced over at Dean’s frozen corpse, resurrected from where Sam had hidden it in his father’s storage locker for the last year, laid out on the bed closest to the door. That was Dean’s bed, always had been and always would be.
“A crossroads demon won’t come for you. You killed one remember? And I’m not helping you force one into that boy.”
He smirked at her, “Demon’s possess bodies. You said Dean would eventually become a demon.”
“A year isn’t long enough.”
“Long enough for him to be tainted.”
He felt the air crackle and instantly put a shield between himself and her.
“You don’t know it’ll be him!” She screamed at him. “You don’t know what he’ll be like.”
“I will.” He growled back. “And he’ll be more human then you are.”
She crossed her arms and glared mutely at him.
It’s surprisingly easy when there is enough desire on both sides to pull the right soul out of hell.
It took two days for Dean’s body to thaw but it took his brother possessing his own body for it to lose the blue tinge to the skin and the chunks of missing flesh to spontaneously heal.
Unsurprisingly Ruby took off to sulk once again.
Dean said it was because she loved Sam.
Sam never really gave it a thought either way.
Sam knew what came back was his brother but tainted. He wasn’t a demon per say, his eyes never flashed black but they no longer were the emerald green he remembered.
It’s said that eyes reveal the soul, his proclaimed the taint loud and clear, showing through the colour of a darker green, a mix of black and their original colour.
It didn’t bother him, he’d taken a close look at his own eyes reflected back at him in several bathroom mirrors, had watched as flecks of yellow slowly wormed their way in amongst the specks of green and brown.
Didn’t mean he was evil, didn’t mean Dean was evil. Just meant that they had been touched, tortured, by evil but they were still inherently good.
After all they still hunted evil things, saved innocent lives. And on the up side, between his powers and the weak ones Dean had come back with, though his powers were growing too, they were beginning to believe they could win the war.
It was what they wanted, it was what the hunting community wanted, it would be what the general populace would want if they would open their eyes and see the truth.
It ended like this.
Maybe occasionally Dean needed to hunt something a little more substantial then a demon or a tormented spirit or a werewolf, vampire, windego. Maybe sometimes he needed to feel human flesh split beneath his bare hands. Still didn’t mean he was evil.
Couldn’t be evil when they only hunted murders, rapists and child molesters. They were doing the world a favour. They were simply branching out, protecting more innocents beyond those that had the misfortune of being touched by the supernatural.
As he watched Dean tilt his head and shut his eyes, using his powers to scan for Bela he had to smile.
Maybe this wasn’t the way he had wanted it to go but it was working out just fine.
Comments and constructive criticism snuggled.
I should mention any comments on this will probably not be answered until Tuesday April 15/08 - I'm going where there is no internet for the weekend.